chapter 10

I tried to sleep after I had put the phone down but a tornado of emotions have been stirring inside me and I just can’t sleep.

I decided to go down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of hot cocoa. I sat there for a while and decided to see if my mom’s still awake. I crept up to her room and listened. The TV is still on so I knocked softly. “Come in.” I heard her say. I opened the door to peek. She was snuggled in bed watching her true crime series. “Do you want some hot cocoa or tea?” I offered.

She shook her head. “No thanks, I’m just watching TV until I fall asleep.” She patted the bed beside her as an invitation for me to sit beside her. I placed the cup of hot cocoa on her bedside table and snuggled against her. “Raiden asked me to go to the movies tomorrow.” I began.

“And?”

“I said I’ll go.”

“Your brother won’t stop talking about him and his car, you know. I think it’s adorable that he indulged him.” She said.

“Mom, they were only together for less than thirty minutes. How could he say so much about him?” I protested but secretly agreed with her that he is charming.

“They may have been together for five minutes for all I care but your brother clearly likes him. From what he says, he seems like a good guy. Of course, we still don’t know him that well to be sure but first impressions last. Do you like him?”

“I think so,” I confessed. “I mean, I am attracted to him. He’s gorgeous and charming and he seems sweet.” Thinking about how he offered to make dinner and when he called he asked if I had eaten already. “But there’s that big but hanging over my head. I find it hard to trust him because he seems so perfect. It makes me think why he would be interested in someone like me when he can have just about anyone in school or anywhere for that matter.” I lamented.

“Don’t discount yourself, honey,” She reassured me. “You’re pretty, smart and you have a good heart. I’m not just saying that because I am your mom.”

I let out a big sigh. “Then there’s Taylor too,” I continued, “I don’t want her to get mad at me. You know I don’t like having enemies.”

“Why in the world would she get mad at you?” My mom has turned off the TV by this time. “He told you that they broke up and that she was the one who needed space.”

“Yeah, that’s true. But I still see them together and she looks like she still likes him and that they’re still together. Sometimes I see her glaring at me. It’s making me think twice about going out with him.”

It’s my mom’s turn to sigh. “If you really like him, then go for it, but let me ask you something first. What about Mark?”

“What about Mark?” I feel like my mom had just addressed the elephant in the room.

“We both know what I’m saying here Cassie, whether or not you want to acknowledge it, it’s up to you.”

“Mark and I are just friends. I mean I do like him but I feel like we are not gonna go past that friend zone. The way I feel about Raiden is different from the way I feel about Mark.”

“Whatever you decide on, honey. It’s your feelings and I definitely can’t tell you how you feel. One advice I can give you though, is that you think this twice over because once a decision is made, there is no turning back. You don’t want to end up regretting that decision.”

“I know, mom. I wish there’s an easier way.” I hugged her tightly and stayed in that position for a while. Then I sat up, “Goodnight mom, and thank you for your words of Yoda.” I gave her a kiss, took my empty cocoa cup and left the room.

As I was on my way to the kitchen to was my cup I could not help think of what my mom said. What about Mark? There is something special between us but it’s not like he’s courting me or anything like that. He never even gave the slightest hint that he likes me, not even once. There are times when I think I’m beginning to like him as more than a friend but I’m not sure if that’s because we spend so much time together and he’s fun to be with. Ugh! I wish Therese was here.