chapter 6

Hearing the unlocking of the door, Sara -properly dressed this time- stood up from her chair and headed toward the door to take her breakfast. opening the door, she was met with Patrick's friendly face, the mid aged priest in the long hooded grey robe wasn't one of the twelve high priests that formed the holy council, but still had quite the reputability due to his amiable character and friendly behavior, even towards her. he didn't act as repulsive and disturbed by her presence like the other priests, but rather polite and patient all while keeping his distance.

''Good morning, Young Lady. Here is your breakfast.'', Sara stared at the stuffed plate with barely any interest. Even though it contained all her favorites, the scrambled eggs, the fruit salad with heavy cream, the red tea and the buttered bun. she just didn't have any appetite left after the incident that took place this morning, not to mention the horrible rain that refused to stop, killing every hope she had of seeing her father.

Taking the plate with a small smile and no enthusiasm, Sara thanked the priest quietly before turning inside to place the plate on her small table. However, she noticed from her peripheral vision that the priest was still standing at the door with a worried expression, turning to him with a questioning gaze, the old priest cleared his throat before talking.

''Pardon me, Young Lady. I was wondering if everything is alright with you as you seem a little bit, tired this morning.''

''I am fine.'', Sara smiled at the kind man, thankful for his concern, ''I didn't have the best sleep last night, that is all.''

''Was it because of the storm?'' The old man asked, not leaving his position at her door, ''Please excuse my intrusion, but I noticed that you have dark circles under your eyes, you also look tired and lack your usual radiance, I was afraid you were sick.''

''Yes'' Sara smiled, appreciating the old priest's efforts in observing and checking on her, after living her whole life avoided and pushed away, these kinds of rare small conversations and subtle gestures meant a lot and she felt compelled to appreciate them, ''The rain was too loud, I couldn't sleep. ''

''I see'', Patrick nodded in understanding, ''I am very sorry for your discomfort, I will bring the matter to the holy council, while you bring it up to his Majesty, maybe a better room could be arranged for you.''

''There is no need for that'', Sara waved her hands in front of her, ''I'm quite used to this one. Plus, with the current weather, I don't think his Majesty would visit any time soon, and I don't think it would be appropriate to bombard him with requests once he does.'' Sara's voice became significantly sad while saying the last part and Patrick didn't seem to miss it, the girl was like an open book with her emotions written all over her face.

''Do you want to talk about it?'' Sara was surprised to hear that, and Patrick himself didn't sound that sure about his own words.

''Won't you be in trouble if you did?'' Sara knew that the priests were not allowed to talk to her, but to her surprise, the old man chuckled lightly before assuring her.

''Few minutes won't hurt anyone, Young Lady, and everyone, including yourself deserve someone to talk to every once and a while, I don't see where is the problem in a having a small conversation.'' Patrick offered the young girl a gentle smile as she looked deeply touched, after all, her father didn't visit in three weeks and he wasn't going to any soon, not with the current weather. the girl, who only had her father to talk to, was feeling terribly lonely and throttled, she smiled before stepping out of the way, allowing the man to inter her room.

Taking their seats, Sara smiled nervously, not knowing exactly what to talk about, Patrick -noticing her timidity- decided to handle the burden of starting the conversation.

''I still remember the day you were brought here, Young Lady. You have always been a quiet and obedient child, we expected a spoiled screaming brat to be honest, but we were surprised to meet the most adorable and shy little girl. you never complained about anything, never misbehaved, you didn't even cry out loud, Whenever you were upset, you would  find a corner, face the wall and shed silent tears, it was adorable, but quite sad if you asked me, kids should be messy, loud, jibber, that is their nature, the healthy way for them to grow up. you on the other hand, you were way too perfect. ''

''How do you know so much about children, Father Patrick? Do you have any?'' Sara asked a bit unsure as she already knew the laws of the holy tower.

''No, Of course not.'' Patrick laughed, ''You know us priests are not allowed to marry nor father any children, we are also not allowed to have properties nor titles. Our lives belong to Gods, it is the role we play in this world.''

''Seems like everyone has a role to play in this world...except for me...''

''What do you mean by that, young Lady?'', The frown on the old man's face told Sara how concerned he was over her word, and with a sigh, she looked at the ceiling and started explaining herself.

''I always believed that a person is defined by his deeds in this world, by the role they play, and the things they offer to others, to family, friends, people. everyone offers something, they all bring something to the table, but me, I... I always show up empty handed, I have nothing, I offer nothing, to anyone, therefore.... I am a nobody.''

''Don't say that.''

''It is the truth.'', Giving the kind priest a sad broken smile, Sara went on with her words, ''I am but a consumer, I live on his Majesty's expense without giving him anything in return, nothing but shame and disgrace, I am the dark page in his glorious history, no wonder he keeps me here, where no one can see or hear of me, I don't blame him though, I understand what I am. I just, wish I knew more...''

''What do you want to know?'', Not having anything to say to the sad girl, Patrick gave up the futile attempt to console her to focus on knowing her questions.

''I…want to know who my mother was, his Majesty told me she died giving birth to me, and, in his voice, I hear sadness and grief. I can't help but think that she wasn't some random woman that His Majesty bedded. I feel there is more, and, I hope by knowing about her I will be able to understand more about myself, my situation, maybe then my loneliness would make sense.''

''I am terribly sorry, Young Lady, For I don't know who your mother was.'', Sara was about to tell the kind priest it was alright and he should not be that sad for not having the answers, but his next words made her swallow her own.

''But I know where you might find the answer.''