chapter 56

I was standing alone in the waiting shed. Idiot, my brain cannot process what is happening. Am I willing to give up the feeling?

If I tolerate, I will not ruin my brother. I am not aggrieved. If I do not tolerate the feelings, I will be hurt and ruined a lot. I know I will be hurt too much, not only me but my older brother.

What should I do? Why is it so hard to live in this world?

I stepped out of the waiting shed and thought of taking a walk. I want to be alone and embrace the sadness I feel.

raindrops fell on my skin. I looked up at the shady sky. Instead, I smiled bitterly at the sky.

"Why are you raining?" I was shocked to hear a voice behind me.

"Sky!"

"Tss .." it blinked and pulled me back to the shed. we are both wet from the rain.

I was amazed at how it supplied me. So I can't speak. I was just stunned.

It passed a trycicle.

"Wait, where are you taking me?"

It just looked at me. He took off his polo shirt and threw stones at me.

He's really rude!

"Suotin mo .."

"But, where are we going?"

It did not answer that I just stared. "Where are Niko and Andre?"

"Just got home."

"Why are you here?"

"Tss..the amount of questions you have."

Gawd! I used to be quiet. But I don't know that he really saves so much when he talks! I can talk to him and he answers sparingly, I'm used to it. But, it's really different when you two just talk. It looks like you just want to throw him out because there is nothing to talk about.

My eyebrows rose as the tricycle stopped at an Ice Cream Parlor.

"Shall we have iice cream ?!" I was excited and faced him.

"Obvious Ara..obvious .."

This time I struggled and "Tsss ..."

I spread the mango flavor ice cream while it was chocolate flavor.

"Do not be affected by the conversationfocus on learning. "he suddenly said without looking.

I did not speak.

"I heard you from Santi's friend earlier."

I ate less ice cream.

"Focus on learning. Sometimes we also need to exercise the brain rather than the heart."

I took a deep breath.

"It's not because you love so you can say that Sky."

He smirked. "Trust me, I just fell in love and I don't know how to love the question not me .."

Sky drove me home he did not hesitate to enter. When I entered the house I saw papa cooking.

it was very sweaty and obviously had difficulty frying. She is not used to housework, so it is mysterious to me that she is cooking.

"Oh, Ara! You're sitting and cooking nails." It tries to remove the fried chicken even though it is not yet cooked so the skin is left. I also saw that it was just a little greasy so it couldn't really be cooked.

I put the bag away. "Well, it's me. You just sit down."

"I'm not a child, I say-"

"All right, I'm fine ..." I snatched the spoon from my dad and I continued. He quietly left and sat down and thought deeply.

"I'm sorry son. I have a lot of shortcomings. Your older brother will take me back from you. Someone hired me at work." its news to me.

"Well, don't. My older brother doesn't want that. He'll take care of you. Besides, you're old ..."

"Then why didn't he come home here ?g-Is he still mad at me son? "

I shook my head and smiled. I lowered the stove and approached papa. I hugged it from behind.

"Well, you know my older brother has that attitude but I love you then!"

"That's why I'm recovering son."

"It's like that! For mama to be happy in heaven.we should just have good vibes. "

Sunday I am early to go to church. I put on a floral dress and curled the ends of my hair. It is up to our women to be self-sufficient. Like me, now I want to keep my body clean and my face smooth.

I remember Sky's polo that I washed last night. Maybe, I will return later after I go to church. This Sunday, they may be in the dorm.

"Pa! I'm just going to church."

"All right Ara, I'm just going to plant flowers."

It digs into the black soil and puts it in the flower pot. mama just wants to keep her flowers in the yard so maybe papa thought of fixing it.

At church, I set aside an hour for the lord. I apologize for this sin. My eyes are red and I want to cry. I do not know what to do. I don't want to show that I am weak, especially since we lost our mother.

I only cling to god now to continue my love for my brother. I knew it was a curse but I chose to confess to God how I felt.

he himself, feels what I feel now.

It's hard to be a hero just to make you suffer. It’s hard to be the protagonist of a story and you’re destined for an illicit romance.

I know this is just a test of god. trying to ever have difficulty fixing even back and forth turning the world upside down. Because it is wrong and will not be right.

Then I went to church and cried. I feel so light. I want to be alone first and roam alone.

What I did all day was watch a movie. I watched two shows. I no longer care about the reduction in my money as long as I enjoy it even now.

After watching the movie I ate alone. I enjoy eating La Paz Batchoy with a pair of spicy siomai.

after dinner I toured various National Bookstores and bought Frezbae's free works.

I spent the whole day walking alone. Those who do not worry about anything. I am free from my actions. I want to give myself time. time alone without anything to think about.

It was six o'clock and I told Andre where Sky was. He said that they were in the dorm with Niko drinking. I know Sky's dorm and it's not far from brother Santi's dorm.

my older brother does not leave even though he is in good condition now. He is so simple and artless. After all, he can take his suite. Maybe our cousins ​​were there so he didn't want to leave.

I will just return his polo and talk to our cousins. Maybe my older brother is still in the hospital.

When I got there the woman guarding the dorm just greeted me. I'm used to it and I know it.

I was holding Sky's white polo shirt as I opened the door.

I saw him sitting on the sofa and next to him Niko was drinking. They also watch netflix on the laptop. Cigarette butts also spread.

"Hello, I'm coming back to Sky! Thank you."

Niko blinked and some smiled. "O-Oh Ara.N-You're here!"

Sky took a deep breath. "Just put it there."

I put Sky's polo on the back of the sofa and smiled at them as if the reaction had healed.

I stopped staring at the two with a noisy bottle. It was placed on the kitchen counter which can only be seen from here in the living room because it is not a large space.

"K-Kuya?"

"Shit .." Niko was cheap.

I didn’t know he was with the drinker here! And I thought he was in the hospital!

"I know what you have in mind Santi. I only lent Ara the polo when it rained."

Sky said. The weight of the air seemed to be felt.

My older brother did not let go of my gaze. many questions in those eyes that made my heart pound.

"I'm not asking you Sky."

"Just explaining." Sky also answered coldly.

The two looked at each other.

"Oh, drink more oh! Cool head warmer!" Andre's sudden scene, just entered.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm leaving I still have a job." Older brother in a cold voice. I was suddenly confused. It might make me angry. I was not even ignored.

It passed me by.

"Santi, it's raining outside!" Andre who is preparing the new biling case.

"Rain my ass' Dre." my older brother took his doctors gown and went out. I want to chase him when it stops at the door.

"What else are you doing there Ara? Let's go." It glared at me before finally coming out.

My heart seemed to warm up. "A-Ah, Just a moment!"

My older brother and I were both silent during his wigo. I also noticed that its glass was tinted. He still does not silence me.

"Brother ..." I began. "It rained yesterday and Sky saw me so he lent it to me."

"I know." Its serious eyes are still on the road.

"You know?"

"I was outside the house yesterday when I saw you and Sky on the Ara tricycle."

Shit. "Why didn't you come in brother?"

It grinned. "Let's just fight Ara. I'm jealous."

I bit my lip. "Brother, you know that..it's just you, isn't it?"

"And you're not wearing the ring." instead it says I'm nervous. I swallowed and avoided to hide my nervousness. I also feel like it looked at me.

"I'm sorry brother."

It nodded. "Next time you wear shit!" He was just shocked when the car stopped and his engine smoked in front.

I can almost pull my hair out. Did I think my older brother just picked up the painful car? Is it also his new wigo? Heck?

"Hala..nasira?"

The older brother just rubbed his forehead and looked up. "I'll just fix it, here you are."

It's a good thing that while staring, my older brother has already stored it in an abandoned building. But it is a big scandal for vehicles if it stalls on the road.

There is not much passing by and the households are far away. The surroundings were also dark and the light on the poles was already on.

"Kuya! Gabi na !Can we just call Andre? "

The older brother was soaking wet outside while repairing the engine.

"It's over!" He shouted back at me because they could not understand each other because of the noise of the heavy rain.

"Wrong timing!" I sighed angrily as it got louder. The road is darker.

my older brother got wet when he entered the driver's seat. I immediately grabbed a towel from the bag in the backseat.

"You're so wet brother!" I said annoyed when I saw the paleness of his lips.

He chuckled sexily. "I'm okay."

He took off his wet white t-shirt. His pants are also wet. I was stunned by his violent mess of hair, seemingly drying up.

The speed of my heartbeat again. I was shocked when he also looked at me. He caught me looking at his body.

"Is it delicious?" He said sarcastically.

"Yes delicious brother."

my older brother burst out laughing and I just realized what I said.

"Ehhh! I don't know about you brother your toy! You're flirting with me!" I grabbed the towel from him. "It's mine!"

I wiped her wet hair myself. I quietly wiped it pate his neck. my hand also went down to his chest. I was devastated to feel the tiny feathers there.

I was devastated to feel the hot energy enveloping our scene. I could feel the electricity when my older brother caressed my hand and applied it to his chest. the towel fell out of my hand.

"Do you hear this Ara?" He even pressed my hand to his chest.

I nodded slowly. Hypnotized by his gaze.

"It's just for you throbbing Ara .."

A smile flashed on my lips.

"I want to kiss you k-brother." the hidden words came out of my mouth.

His jaw clenched. "What, baby?" It asked softly and touched my chin.

"I want to kiss you ..." I swallowed again.

"If you kiss me now, I might not be able to control myself Ara.don't make decision that you will regret eventually- "

I shook my head and kissed him rudely. He immediately returned the kiss to me.

Every move was quick and without a word he split my thigh and made me sit on his lap in front.

his right hand supporting my back while the other was holding my neck to kiss me torridly.

"Ah," the kisses of brother Santi slipped down my lips as my hand caressed down. As my hand caressed every part of his chest down.

"Shit Ara .."

"Kuya .."

it lowers the strap of my dress along with my strapless bra.

Each scene warmed up. The fire that engulfed the two of us was opposite the pouring rain. The heat of each scene is opposite to the chill outside. The noise of the raindrops was nothing but a sigh of relief.

I moaned several times as I watched him take turns blessing my two breasts.

Trembling my hand reached for his belt and zipper, determined with every move.

"No Ara .."

I shook and continued what I was doing even though I was shaking. My older brother pulled me up and kissed me again.

"Hmmmmhmm .."

"Oh god Ara!" My older brother sighed as I pressed myself against him. I want to get to something because I feel tickled in my heart.

"Kuya please."

It closed tightly as I finally touched and released him.

I bit my lip so hard and without hesitation lifted myself. His hand supported my waist.

"Fuck! Ara! You're driving me crazy..too much .." My older brother said sharply and disturbed my sitting position.

His hand slid over my thigh. lifted the fun of my dress and lined up my panties.

We both gasped as we looked under us. Feeling this close to my mouth makes me close.

"After that..that's not going to go away Ara."

I closed my eyes tightly and there was a pain in my chest.

i'm so sorry kuya ..

I whispered in my mind and finally felt the metal object at the end of my older brother's bar.

I gave my first to my first love, who happened to be my brother.

the innocent pole and dark road witnessed how my older brother's powerful car shook and how I cried with mixed emotions.