chapter 20

Who knew being good was this hard? I think the hate against me has quadrupled and before you ask “Beau, what did you do this time?”, I'm totally innocent. I better start from the beginning.

The next day, I woke up and like a good boy, I made my bed. Then came the most herculean task of all; doing my laundry.

Do you know how hard it is to lug your clothes to a laundromat and load them by yourself into a washing machine? 

Let me tell you, it's so hard 😢😢😢.

After that, I went for lectures. I saw one of my course mates distributing flyers in a busy hallway and I walked up to him.

“Hey, can I help you?” I asked.

His eyes widened, “For real?” he asked.

“Totally.” I smiled.

He handed me the flyers, and without looking at them, I started distributing. Following his lead, I beckoned to people, “It has worked for me, it can work for you!”

Some people snickered at me while some laughed loud outrightly. At first, I thought it was because I was doing something good, until I looked at the flyer.

Believe it or not folks, the flyers were advertising adult diapers for those who still wet the bed.

No wonder they were laughing. They thought I still peed myself! Can you imagine?

I turned to the person who had handed me the flyers?

“Why didn't you tell me?!” I raged.

“Why didn't you read it?” he chuckled.

I threw his flyers in his face and stormed away. 

So much for trying to help people. It's so sad that some people will try to take advantage of you, no matter how good you are to them.

The moral lesson here, is that you should always read flyers before distributing them.

When I'd cooled down, I decided not to let one unfortunate being stop me from being good. My life depended on it.

I was looking for someone to offer my services when Unibrow, Stan and Dean showed up.

I knew they were here to mock me, so I decided to attack first.

“What's that I smell?” I asked, “Wait, I know, it's the offending smell of three losers.” I dissed.

“You must be smelling yourself then, urine boy.” Dean said, and the others congratulated him.

I was so mortified. How had the news spread so quickly? I had no ready comeback so I kept mute.

“You're pathetic.” Stan said, and they walked away.

Those fools! I thought. This was why I needed to regain my popularity. I would make those boys pay for every vile word they uttered about me.

I took off, looking for more good to do. I finally found a girl with a ladder and a brush, looking around.

I went to her, “Do you need help?” I asked.

She gave me the once over. “Are you sure?” she asked.

I nodded and she smiled.

“I need you to hold this ladder steady while I clean the top windows.” She said.

“Easy peasy.” I replied as she climbed up the ladder which I held for her.

She was up there, scrubbing the windows while I stayed down, watching my reflection on the lower windows.

A gust of wind blew, and I noticed that a lock of hair on my head had gone haywire.

Instinctively, I reached out to slick it back in place, thus leaving the ladder which wobbled.

Predictably, the girl shouted and fell, landing with her butt on my back.

Her weight took me down and we both collapsed to the floor.

“You! Is this some prank or what?!” She asked angrily as she stood up.

“No, it was a mistake.” I said genuinely.

“It's all fun and games for you, isn't it? You know what? I even blame myself for accepting your help. I should have known that nothing good would ever come out of it.” She said and stomped off.

Later that day, the news spread. By the time I heard it, the story was that I'd planned to kill her because I thought going to jail for murder would be good for my street cred!

Guys, please, give me some credit; 

1.  I'm not that stupid.

2.  My father would kill me.

*  *  *

Some days later, I was out running some errands (not fun!), when I saw some people wearing t-shirts that had the words 'Helping Hands' printed on them. They were giving out flyers. I immediately, went the other way.

Once bitten, twice shy. Who knew? Maybe those people were there teach people how to wash their hands.

One of the people saw me walking away and followed me. I walked faster and he followed suit. I broke into a run, and he actually ran after me.

They were pretty zealous about their cause. I considered shouting “Help!” but I didn't want to cry wolf. So, I stopped and turned to him.

“Why are you stalking me?” I  asked.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were the person who borrowed money from me and refused to pay back.”  He replied.

Can you imagine? I had run for nothing.

He turned, to return to where his colleagues were, and I stopped him.

“Won't you give me a flyer?” I asked.

He did so, smiled and left.

I looked at the flyer. It was about some NGO called Helping Hands which helped people living below the poverty line. They needed volunteers.

I almost crumpled the flyer when a splendiforous idea hit me. I could volunteer to help out at Helping Hands, and actually take pictures of myself “giving back to the community”, as our favorite celebrities do. It would make people think I'm a good person, and they'll love me, and my former friends will come crawling, and I'll give them the middle finger.

I copied in the website on the flyer into my browser and I volunteered via it. I got a message telling me to come to their office and get interviewed.

Wait! I don't understand. Like a job interview? You an have to be interviewed to became a volunteer? Giving away your time for free to their cause is not enough?

I shrugged. I guess they wanted to know the type of people volunteering.

Well, with my good looks and my charm? I knew it was going to be a walk over.

Get ready, Beau is coming back for his throne.