chapter 6

(Becca)

I strolled towards the bathroom to get ready. We were on the flight in two hours. My head was still dizzy due to the pills I took and I wished nothing but to sleep. Lucas and I were sitting across each other, I didn't give him any look all the way to the airport and all the while waiting to take off. But I felt his eye on me, staring, wondering, like there was something he wanted to say but didn't find the words or courage. As my eyes were closing, head leaned on my left side I feel my hands squeezed lightly and I jerk with a sob. I see Lucas's face inches from mine and a tilted lips corner in a smile.

"Becca, you need to eat something before you sleep. You barely touched anything at lunch," he said softly.

His fingers curl tighter around my hand and it spread heat in all the corners of my being.

"I am not hungry, Lucas," I manage to mumble staring at him like I have seen a ghost.

"Please, Becca," he begged.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Lucas? I am not hungry. I said I am not hung ..." but my words were stopped with a kiss. Lucas's lips crashed on mine in what seemed to be the softest and warmest kiss I ever had and I took that with all my being, sobbing and crying already, lifting my hands in the air wanting to touch Lucas's beautiful face but ending only by holding them up, sweated and eager. He took my hands in his and placed them on his face and I was shaking. He breaks the kiss and stares at me.

"Now eat, Becca," he said like his kiss was supposed to remind me who was in control. And I did. With tears rolling down my cheeks and chocking being very aware of how much I missed him and how much I hated him in the same time. And then I fell asleep, still crying.

Somehow I wanted to be on the island. I loved the island house. It was the place where Lucas took me for the first time and where we had our honeymoon. Although the mansion could not be compare with other houses he owned in terms of space and luxury, it was the one I felt most comfortable and relaxed in. It was homey and it had the memories of our good times. He opened me the door as we enter the house and followed me in the living while the driver took our bags up in the bedrooms. I could already sense a smile on my face. There was a cool breeze coming from outside and I let it brush my face swinging my hair while I was walking towards the sliding doors opening to the patio.

I hear Lucas's steps behind as he is coming closer to me but I don't turn around. I just watch the ocean in its vast beauty in which I wanted so much to get lost.

"I've always liked it in here," I say with some sort of nostalgia. I don't even know why I said it. He wouldn't care, anyway. I guessed he brought me here knowing I liked it and it would do me good after the last events. Again I wonder why would he care. Or maybe it was just pity. I hate pity.

"I know. This is why I brought us here."

"Us? Are you staying?"

"For the next two weeks, yes, I am."

I turn around and watch him, my eyes locked with his. None of us breaks the eyes contact and we both fight for dominance. I don't give a fuck anymore of what it may come. I refuse to fear him, so let it come what it may.

"Why do you think my father would come here? Or my brother?" I asked boldly.

"Not necessary for you to know. I will make sure they don't come a mile around this house," his eyes darkened and seemed worried.

"Why?"

"Why what?" by now I can see fury building in him. I should feel scared and run or shut the fuck up like a fucking scared rabbit I have always been.

But not today.

"Why will you make sure they don't come a mile around this house?"

Lucas sighs shaking his head.

"Becca, don't fucking start."

"Don't fucking start with what, Lucas?"

I am annoying, I know. I want him either shoot me or leave me.

In a blink I find him inches from my nose, one hand curled around my neck, squeezing the air out of me but I don't fret. Not even blink.

"Don't fucking walk on my toes, Becca. I am tense and not quite in my right mind and I am afraid I will snap your neck if you push me far enough," his voice is low and deep and his beautiful blue eyes throw fire.

"Snap it!" I dare him with a smirk and I see storms building in his eyes, eyebrows frown and clenched jaws and I skip a heartbeat. My throat is dry and I can't get enough air in my lungs but soon enough that was replaced with awe of his next move.

He grabs my face in his strong hands and crashes his lips on mine in a hard, vigorous kiss. I melted right there and then. This was not a punishment, this was lust, longing and passion and I moaned as my knees felt weak and my legs almost giving in.

He pulls me away from him a few inches, staring at me.

"Don't you ever ... ever ... ask me or anybody else that again. Don't you ever wish for your fucking death and don't you ever do what you did three days ago or I will never forgive you. It's what I've fought against all these years, your death. I can't bear the thought of that. Do you understand me?"

I stopped breathing at his words, at the determination in his voice and I try to blurb something.

"Do you fucking understand?!" he yells at me not losing the grip of my head. "I cannot lose you!"

"Yes ..." I hardly mouthed him back.

"Good. Now be a good girl, go upstairs and unpack. Change your clothes and get ready for dinner. We will eat in an hour."

With shaking legs, I go upstairs to the guest's room which I presumed will be my bedroom but didn't find my bags there although I clearly saw the driver bringing them up. I go to the main bedroom being my first guess and there I find our both bags.

I run downstairs and go directly to Lucas. He is typing on his phone and doesn't lift his eyes to me, being too concentrated on typing.

"I am not sleeping in the same fucking bed with you!" I say.

"Why?" he asks continuing his typing.

"Because I don't want to breath the same air with you!"

"Why?"

What the fuck?! He is paying me back?

Getting no answer, he lifts his eyes to me.

"We are husband and wife. Why shouldn't we sleep together?" he says tilting his head.

"I have been your playing sex toy for too long, Lucas. I find it hard to feel as your wife now."

My voice is fading. I am shaking and I feel a panic attack building up. My breath speeds up although I feel no air coming in. I feel to throw up but I can't control my fucking breathing. My legs feel like water and it's harder and harder to stand.

Before I hit the ground two arms grab me and crash me into a brick chest while his blue worried eyes are all I see and his voice far away talking softly.

"Breathe Becca ... breathe, baby ... goddamn it! Becca, look at me! Let's breathe together, baby."

Darkness engulfs me.

(Lucas)

Those damn pills have weakened her and she refuses to eat like a spoiled brat she is. I managed to wake her up but I had to take her to the bedroom as she couldn't stand on her feet or keep her eyes opened. Her body is smaller than I ever remember, she weights nothing.

She has been sleeping for the past four hours, wrapped in my arms. It was my heaven. I feel her stirring up and she moans in her sleep. I lay a soft kiss on her temple and wait her to open her eyes. This time I will be here when she comes around.

Her sleepy eyes open and I feel her body stiffing when she realizes she is not alone.

"Lucas ..." she calls my name.

"I am here, baby," I assure her. Time to take my woman back.

"Why are you here, Lucas?"

I noticed she didn't move, her body was tense again and shivering. What have I done to the woman I love?

"We need to have a little talk," I say and she sharply inhales.

I bend my head to kiss her forehead and eyes but she jerks in fear before I reach her lips. Fuck the little talk, I want to make love to my wife.

"Hey, hey ...calm down. I am not going to hurt," I forced my voice to be as low and soft as possible to relax her but it only came out a hoarse voice as I have been turned on like shit holding her for four hours. "Come here," I tell her and rolled her over on top of me. Her look is lowered and she still shivers.

"Becca, look at me," she doesn't and I had to repeat. When she finally moves her green eyes to look at me my heart skips a beat and I feel to ravish her lips.

"I am really sorry, baby," I tell her.

"What ...?" she frowns in disbelieve at my words.

"There are things that you need to know. I will tell you everything at the proper time. But for now you need to listen to me, and trust me, baby."

"Trust you? Look Lucas, if this a game of yours to make me change my mind about ..."

"I will give you the divorce," the hell I will! I need her trust back so she would cooperate. There will be no fucking divorce.

"No, you're playing with me, Lucas. Haven't you had enough? What more do want? How long does it take you to get sick of me?"

'Never!' I wanted to shout. She gets off the bed and runs out of the bedroom. The door of the guest's room shuts with a bang. If only I could blame her but I can't. I have been a dick for the past two years. As I get closer to her room I hear her sobbing through the closed door.

"Becca, please listen to me. Open the door. Let me talk. Becca, we don't have much time," I beg her but didn't push 

"Leave Lucas!"

I lean my forehead against the door. I could have easily break the door and get in but somehow I felt it is better this way. If I don't come back she will not suffer. So I have to hold myself and let her be for tonight. "I love you, Becca," I whisper and I've wished so much I could tell her while being buried deep inside her cores.