chapter 2

I went to the black limousine that was waiting for me near his headstone, I got in, and I took off the black hat with a lace front and then my big black Gucci sun glasses that were covering my swollen eyes. I then reached for a box of Kleenex tissues sitting besides me and took out one and wiped the tears that had been rolling on my cheeks since the beginning of the ceremony. 

Next to me were my two Louis Vuitton bags on the car floor, and as soon as all the guests were gone I also was leaving the place I once called a home for last ten years. The place I once called my sanctuary it's now going to be a place I once stayed in. 

The car was still waiting for my go ahead, but I calmed myself down before tapping the black window separating me from the driver. But first I had to go and greet the guests and show my appreciation. I knew I would see pity and disgust on some of them but that didn't scare me anymore. As long as I can show my appreciation and say my goodbye to the love of my life, my heart, my husband and i was contended as I was about to walk out of the car.

I put my sun glasses and my hat back on and got out of the limousine with my six inch black stiletto and held my head high as I went to the living room where the after service is being held. I looked around and all my wedding pictures that used to adorn the walls were all gone but the pain I felt at that moment was worse than anything they could think of doing to hurt me.

Some guests sent their plaintive words, and half of them only showed up for the sake of their businesses as they didn't even know him. Nobody knew him like I did and nobody knew me like he did, but his gone, and he left me a his widow.

At the corner table I found a one lone wedding picture and since all the guests were leaving, I knew my time in this mansion has come to an end. I took the photo in a gold frame and put it under my armpit covered by my suit jacket I was wearing over my black dress. 

I looked around again and now only memories we made together played in my mind, from the very first time, he brought me here after our wedding day when everyone thought we were on our honeymoon, but he actually drove us here to this mansion to give me as my wedding gift. It was too much only for the both of us, but he insisted that I deserve only the best, and that's what he always gave me the best and his worst. I refused to think about the last time, i saw him because it was too painful.

All the guests left me alone in the living room and I gave the house one last painful look and left before anyone could come back and insult me more than they already did. James the head of security was waiting for me outside in front of the car as everyone has already left when I came outside. He gave me a sad look and I gave him a look of understanding, I knew what was needed to be done and I expected it. He searched me and my hand bag and saw the only picture I have left of me and my husband, he looked at picture and since we were only people left, I gave him a pleading look and gave me a sad nod and placed back the picture in my hiding place. I gave James the sad smile and got in the limousine and drove away.

I got myself a two bedroom apartment downtown, it was not the best place but not the worst either. I refuse to go back to live with my brother not my brother. I hated to see pity in their eyes. it was what I could afford with the amount of money I had left. All my credit cards were cancelled the day after his death, I couldn't even plan his funeral because I couldn't afford it anymore.

‘a gold digging whore that killed her husband' was what they called me. it hurt hearing those words from them but not the killing part because it was true. The gold digging part made me feel even more useless than I already felt.

The driver left me at the apartment building front doors. I took both my bags. Waved him goodbye, and went to grey building that would have made my husband cuss. For even breathing the same air as the people leaving there. And the was an ‘out of order sign' on the elevator as I approached it, and I groaned while I turned and approached the rusty stairs, I had to climb the stairs to my apartment on the 6th floor with my six inch stiletto, caring my two heavy bags, could this day get any worse? I wondered already knowing the answer to my question. it took time for me to reach the sixth floor considering I don’t want to take if my shoes not knowing what kind of decades later beneath my ‘bloody shoes' but I finally got to the apartment in one piece.

I got in looking at the small one bedroom apartment. From the door you could see the kitchen and living room, and only privacy you got was in the small bedroom with an in suite. I put my bags down by the door and went to have a rest on the dusty couch, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes that's when the reality of the situation really hit me like a ton of bricks, my husband is gone and I had killed him.

My name is Susan McCallister. Excuse me Susan Moore and this is my story!