chapter 3

Upstairs, Justin was under the shower drowning himself in guilt. Ella’s panic-stricken face floated in his mind every time he closed his eyes. Was he truly the cold-hearted monster she accused him of? He came from a traditional family with loving parents and a pesky old brother, and a totally normal childhood.

“Wake up Justin! Wake up! Santa has been here!” Logan’s hands were shaking him out of his slumber.

Justin mumbled something, swatting at him with his tiny hands. “What…” blinking a few times he looked to the excited face in front of him still fighting off sleep. Justin had always been the sleepy head.

“SANTA!” Oh, that word! His eyes widened making him fully alert. “I’ll race you downstairs!” 

Justin jumped out of bed and ran following his brother. 

“Logan, wait for me! That’s not fair…” than he came to a halt. The big Christmas tree in the middle of the family room was all lit up and even brighter with all the presents underneath, while Logan was already checking for his gifts, Justin went straight to the little table on the side. “Mommy, Mommy!” he grabbed the plate, and walked to his mother with a delighted smile shinning on his chubby face. 

“Come on, Justin! You’re missing the good stuff!” Logan called him. But he was enthralled by the empty plastic plate in his hands. 

“Yes, honey pie.” she sat on the floor in front of him.

“Look mommy! I think Santa liked your cookies!” excitement was twinkling in his eyes.

“And why do you say that?” she kissed the tip of his nose.

“There’s not even a crumb left, mommy. And daddy was right, I think the reindeers liked their carrots with ranch dressing, too.” 

Bridget looked at her husband helping Logan unwrap the gifts, and with a grin on his lips, he winked back to her. She got her little boy in her arms tickling the air out of him. Justin squirmed and giggled, and his happy, carefree laughter echoed through the house…

His parents were good together, and he knew they were in loved ‘till the end. Christmas have never been the same after his mother passing, and he missed that so much! They had been working parents, but always managed to spend time with them, and to be with them whenever they could. 

“Justin, you’re gonna get us in trouble…” Logan whispered to him. “Dad will kill us!”

“Stop being a chicken! I know what I’m doing.” they were prowling near the entrance of a small den on the rocky background of her grandparent’s ranch. “Grandma always says the werewolf comes this way in her stories.”

“You’re crazy, Justin. Do you really believe in Nana?” 

“If you don’t, why are you here, then?” Justin brought his index finger to his lips shushing his brother, and took the flashlight out of his backpack.

“Well… You know…” he looked at his feet. “I’m the oldest, I have to watch over you.”

“Yeah… right!” he snorted at him. Pointing the light to the entrance both made their way in. The den wasn’t too deep, but suddenly they heard a buzz, and more buzz, and a loud noise.

“Beeeeeeeeeeees!” Logan screamed at full lungs turning on his heels and running out of there, being followed by Justin. Both swatting at the bugs and shaking their heads.

“The lake, run for the lake!” Justin yelled, going down the hiking trail like two clumsy ostriches and dive-bombing in the cold soothing water. 

After a while, things quieted down. “Oh, we’re so dead!” Logan said, they looked at each other, with their faces full of mischief and starting to swell in places, then they broke into laughter. “So, so way dead!”

He had put his brother in countless trouble. He had a very active imagination, and couldn’t help himself. Both, his brother and him, would wait eagerly for summer's break, ‘cause that meant it was time for a trip to Nana and Pop’s ranch. A place that held the most fun and adventurous memories of his childhood.

Justin knew right from wrong. His parents had been an example of love and companionship raising him and his brother with good family values, morals, and friendship. He had been a good person and now, he was broken. He became abrasive, overbearing,  domineering, resentful, and in some ways miserable. And everything turned upside down because of one evil psychopath bitch.

“Justin... This is our last concert, man...” Devon slid his hand on his bass guitar looking at it with a hint of sadness in his blue eyes.

“Yep! Last night of screaming chicks!” he wiggled his brows and smiled naughtily. “So, let’s give them something to remember, forever!” he put his guitar on his neck and both left to meet the band on the stage. 

Those were his last days in the university, he was finishing his masters, and would be taking a serious role in his father's Company. He loved playing his guitar, but he never intended to pursue as a musician, but he wanted to give his best in this concert, after all it wouldn't happen again. The energy inside the semi dark gymnasium was addictive. There were flash of lights and smoke coming out of the stage corners, and you could feel every note, every chord of the songs vibrate in his body The students were going crazy and the music resounded throughout the whole campus. 

Despite all that crowd Justin found a pair of big unblinking green eyes shyly staring at him, and for the first time in his life he missed a chord. His friends looked at him, but he gave them a half smile and a shrug, then kept going. For the rest of the night he played for that beautiful green-eyed girl.  

Therefore, that same girl years later had transformed him in the monster he is today. Justin shook his head under the cold water putting the memories aside. What was wrong with him? Was he becoming again the monster Claire once transformed him into? He couldn’t take Ella’s panicked face out of his mind. What have I done? He couldn’t think straight around Ella and if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t be hurt right now. Justin knew he had hurt her physically and emotionally. He saw the pain in her eyes. Justin left the bathroom and Cotton was curled up in his bed, and seeing him she raised her head and meowed to get his attention.

“Hey girl, I got myself into a mess again,” he said to her putting some jeans and a t-shirt on. He sat at the end of the bed. Cotton stood up and started rubbing herself against his legs trying somehow to comfort him. “I know, but there’s no excuse for my behavior this time.” he said, petting her gently. The intercom rang, and he got Cotton on his lap going downstairs. He put her on the floor and open the gate to the doctor waiting for him at the door.

“Ciao Rossi. Please come in.” Justin gave him passage leading him to Ella’s room.

“What’s the matter? Is Elsie ok?”

“She’s fine and I know it’s late, but It’s an emergency and Ella didn’t want to go to a hospital.” Justin said apologizing.

“It’s ok. I’m a doctor, so it’s part of my job. Who’s Ella?”

“A friend.” Justin led doctor Rossi to Ella’s room knocking lightly at the door. Elsie came out and let the doctor in holding Justin in place.

“You stay here. She’s upset and doesn’t want to see you right now,” she closed the door behind her after the doctor entered pulling Justin to the living room and sitting him on the armchair. She sat on the opposite one staring at him intently with an impish look on her face. “Justin?”

“Yes Meemaw...” at that moment he felt like a naughty boy being caught in a gone bad prank. He looked at Elsie with his face bathed in guilt.

“I know that face of yours... I helped raise you since you were born! What did you do this time?” Elsie said chastising him. “If you were still a boy I would get you by the ear and put you on a time out, Justin!” 

“I know, I know, I screwed up badly,” he said resting his head on his hands completely lost.

Seeing him so devastated Elsie went to him and embraced him. 

“Give her time, son”

“I behaved like… Like…” he hugged her back and basked himself on the kind of warmth only a mother was able to.

“Don’t say it. Shhhhh…”

“What’s wrong with me? Claire had always had the power to bring the worst in me,” his chin trembled while he talked to her.

“You are the only one who knows everything you went through, Justin,” she explained stroking his hair. “Even though I was there the whole time. In this case, you will need wisdom to separate here,” she pointed to his heart. “From here,” and she pointed to his head.

“Sometimes I just feel like disappearing,” and he felt a sharp pain, Elsie cuffed him in the ear. “Ouch, Meemaw!” he groaned. “You hit me,” he said mischievously massaging the back of his ear and head.

“So, stop talking nonsense!” she sat back at her chair and Cotton jumped on her lap making herself comfortable, and after what seemed an eternity Dr. Rossi came out of the room.