chapter 2

Cat

For as long as we had all known each other, each one of the boys from all the families looked out for Aileen and me. Even when they thought Aileen had been a down right pain in the ass they cared. It was different growing up in a small community like ours and being one of the founding families. We all had unnamed responsibilities and traditions that without speaking we understood.

I think they all felt guilty that they weren’t there for her that night, and they didn’t fight off her attacker. None of them could have been there that night, but they still felt guilt, and that one of their main objectives in life was a failure.

Instead, they turned all their attention and protection to me. Finn and Red took it the hardest. The other guys waited at the doors while somewhere already inside, waiting to usher me next to my parents in the front. Mama had spent nearly all morning praying at church. Dad was not devout, but he wasn’t leaving her side.

Dad believed in the old ways and old gods. He and all the other men did. It should have felt out of place in our modern times, but I always found comfort in the idea of divine intervention and magic. The old gods had a habit of meddling, and the idea of talking to the right one for help and magic gave me a sense of peace. Besides church on Sundays, we religiously celebrated the old holidays. My favorites were Imbolc in February, Beltane with our big May Day festivities, Samhain though we usually just called it Halloween or if we were fancy All Souls Day, and Winter Solstice, which was leading up to Christmas.

There wasn’t a single seat or dry eye in the church. Unlike myself, most had spent the last few days remember, praising, and drinking in Aileen’s name. I just cried and tried to exist.

The guys accompanied me upfront to my parents. I felt eyes burn into my back the entire walk. I wanted to look around, but I couldn’t. I had to keep moving forward. I was ushered next to my mother, who looked stunned at my appearance. I simply said Aileen picked it all. She nodded and went back to her prayers.

I had to keep moving forward. Dad looked at me and then nervously to the back and shook his head.

I really didn’t know what to expect from him. He had been so quiet, which was not like him at all. He was a serious man, but a loving and kind one. He always had time for his girls, and I’m certain he taught us everything he would have a son.

Aileen and I knew how to fix up most equipment, use bows and track wild game, and fight. That was one point that lingered with her attack. There were no defensive wounds. We were both fighters. Gods, our tempers alone could give way to screaming matches and brawls.

I heard the shuffling next to me as Finn and Red seemed to battle who would sit at my side.

I wanted Finn.

Shit. Did I really just think that? Sitting in the holy church with my sister’s cold dead body a few feet in front of me, did I really just decide I had feelings for Finn?

I am the worst creature on the planet. Red’s been my best mate since we were wee ones. I learned to walk first, and within a day, he was up and following me. He went on all of my crazy adventures. He followed after me as I ran into the woods after a witch. I know he threatened Fergus O’Leary with an arse-kicking if he ever made up stories about me again. I loved Red. I loved him with all that I had, but he was my brother.

I settled the dispute for them as I looked up into big brown eyes and lightly caught his hand. That was it. Red’s face turned to stone as his cousin laced his fingers with mine and pulled me close on the pew. Silently, Red bowed his head in what most would think was prayer, but I knew better. The way his hands were fisted together told me he was seething inside. Finn gave a slight smile, let go of my hand, and wrapped his arm around me.

Clearly, I had lost my mind, but I was breathing easier. My brain told me that I was taking on dad’s traditions, and I wanted to celebrate life in this moment of death and darkness. The old ways had a strong tradition of drawing from the power of love and sex for spiritual intervention, in guidance, prosperity, and what I needed most in this moment, comfort. Come on Cat, quit trying to blame your hormones on ancient religions. You know better.

Peering up through my lashes at the man who had been there my entire existence, I couldn’t help but feel warm and safe. I found comfort in his warm hooded eyes staring back at me then leaned into the touch that was making lazy circles on my back. Oh God, I was going straight to Hell. And …. there was my mother’s religious upbringing kicking in—good old fashion guilt. Yep, time to pray. Instead of God, I found myself talking to Aileen.

The service began, but I was deep into conversation with my sister. Why? That seemed to be the constant. Why did you go by yourself? Why did you hide your life? Why wouldn’t your friends be here? I would have loved to have met James.

But most importantly, why didn’t you fight back? Fight, Aileen! There should have been bruises on your knuckles, skin, and hair under your nails. Your clothes should have been torn and tattered from the way you should have fought, screamed, and yelled. Yet by all accounts, you silently fell to a knife—a knife to your heart. Your body wasn’t even found until hours later. How did this happen? All of a sudden, I was furious! I felt my body tighten, and my blood boil.

My sister shouldn’t be dead, but even if she was, she should have fought until every last breath or drop of blood left her body. Instead, it was as if she went willingly.

Damn it, Aileen, what happened to you?