chapter 8

Pass.

He passed on me.

He couldn’t actually do that to me, right?

The thought keeps haunting Messie. It’s not that she wanted to think highly of herself, or to think she’s being a narcissistic prick like her cousin, Olivia. It’s just that she’s been thinking if she really doesn’t deserve a chance to have a date like him; a rich man, a handsome man.

“He passed on you?” Libby asks in disbelief, raising both of her eyebrows. “I couldn’t believe that for a second.”

“I know I was the one who asked him in the first place, I blurted out the words like it didn’t matter,” Messie says regretfully.

“Too bad, Messie. He looks like a gold to me,” Libby says, and then she pauses for a second as she thinks of something, “Hey, but I thought I saw him somewhere, you know. He looks familiar somehow—”

“Oh, God, me too!” Messie exclaims, making some workers peep surprisingly at her. “He looks really familiar to me too, almost like déjà vu.”

“That’s weird,” Libby chuckles. “Anyway, why he didn’t want to accept the date with you, I thought he was gonna say yes.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he likes the type of girl who looks like Olivia, or Poise models—”

“Poise models?” Libby raises one of her eyebrows this time, and then she grabs a magazine out from her bag, flipping the pages before showing it to her. “You mean, like you?”

Just suddenly, all of the bothering thoughts vanish from her mind when she sees her face shows up on one page inside Poise Magazine. She truly looks like one of the professional models with good make up and glittery clothes.

“Damn, that’s fast. They’re already published the next issue,” Messie takes over the magazine from her hand, and then she smiles cheerfully. “Do I look good?”

“You are! Of course,” Libby says, cheering along. “Don’t let negative thoughts bother you. I know you deserve better, Messie. You just haven’t found your luck in love, like you find this Poise dream—”

“Oh, God, Libby, being a model is just like a side job. My true dream was working as a content writer for Poise—”

“How about you becoming their fashion therapist, that’s more like it,” Libby blurts out, making Messie giggles.

“You’re so dumb!” Messie snarls, and still giggles.

All the workers in the room glance at them wonderingly.

“Is there any good news, ladies?” Anthony asks.

“Oh, good, finally someone asks,” Libby raises from her chair to show off the magazine to everyone. “Look who just becomes a fashion model.”

Some mutters in disbelief, and others clap their hands cheerfully.

“You’re a model now? Like your hot cousin?” Anthony asks in a flirty way.

“Shut up, Anthony,” Messie snarls. “Don’t bring up my cousin here. She’ll never be into you, okay?”

Then everyone laughs at the idea, of course. Anthony feels embarrassed, but he always knows how to make the best of time, and he keeps joking around with everyone in the office anyway.

“Speaking of the hot sunshine today, there’s a mysterious guy keeps hanging on the sideway, don’t think he’s looking for any of us, huh?” Anthony asks while leaning one hand at the windowsill while his other hand brings a cup of coffee.

“He’s maybe Lisa’s guest,” one of the workers shouts while still typing something on the keyboard.

“What he looks like?” Libby wonders.

Subsequently, Libby raises from her chair again to approach the window and see it for herself.

“Is he a military man?” She wonders. “Who’s wearing an army cap and all green outfit in this daylight, except you work for the government—”

“I guess he may be a CIA?” Anthony adds the hypothesis.

“Shit, he may be after Lisa. Maybe our boss hasn’t paid a tax for her startup company—” another worker speaks bluntly, adding more dumber hypothesis.

“Oh no, wait—” Libby says alertly, “I saw him somewhere before.”

This time, Messie follows to see the view. She stands next to Libby and Anthony, staring down curiously behind the window.

A tall guy is leaning toward a black mini car that’s parked facing some small shops across the street. He wears a thick plain green jacket, green trouser, and an army cap. He stares down most of the time, they can’t see his face clearly. But when he stares up at the blue sky, Messie and Libby gasp the air at the same time.

“No way!” Messie mutters. “What’s he doing here?”

“I’d like to ask the same thing,” Libby pops her brown eyes in disbelief, bewildering at the view.

“You know him?” Anthony flusters.

“Anthony, he’s the hottest guy from the blind date yesterday, the one everybody talked about in the party,” a female worker shout after she peeps behind the window.

“Yeah, and he was Messie’s partner, who unfortunately passed on her,” Libby reminds them.

“Damn, that’s hurt right in the chest,” Anthony mutters.

“Then what’s he doing here? Why would he come here for Messie if that’s the case—” The female worker asks with a very annoying tone as if she has the right to get jealous.

“Just shut up, all of you. We have a job to do,” Messie says ignorantly, and then she returns to her computer to check on her clients.

As everyone returns to their table, Lisa walks out from her enclosed office room, and shouts, “Messie Denver. You come here, right in this second to my office.”

Everyone tends to think of Lisa as somewhat haunting, frightening, but funny at the same time. But this time, even though she speaks with her usual Caribbean accent, there’s a limit in her tone that everyone thinks it may be serious. Everyone in the room thinks the same; Messie may have a serious problem with the boss.

Messie herself has no idea what’s going on suddenly. With heart pounds harder, she hurries to her office.

It’s very rarely Messie can get inside this small cozy room where in every corner is decorated with artificial flowers, and the main sofa has many pillows as if this is not actually an office room.

And then she sees Lisa already sits back on her black leather swivel chair. Judging from the atmosphere, Lisa seems very silent today.

“Is there something wrong, Ms. Baroque?” Messie wonders.

“Sit first,” she orders.

Messie pulls a chair at the desk, to sit in front of her with heart still pounds nervously.

“So, I heard the news, Miss Denver,” she says carefully. “I am so happy that my sister’s startup went really well yesterday. BizzKiss just gets another money supply from our generous investor again. I guess, Illama can conduct another event next month—”

Messie still doesn’t understand how that’s any of her business to hear, but she should listen until the end to find out.

“So, how was your date?” Lisa asks the most question that she hates now.

“Uh, it was not pretty well for me. I just haven’t found the one…” Messie shrugs, trying to look ignorant.

“So, that’s why I’m encouraging you to stop pouting, like for real,” Lisa says as she raises from her swivel chair to open the window curtain. “Smile, Miss Denver. It ain’t gonna hurt your pride to smile a lil’ bit.”

She can see the buildings of Cupcake Café from behind the window. The street below looks empty, seemingly most people haven’t left their office at eleven o’clock for lunch today.

“So, I call you here because I want to show you the sunshine,” Lisa says like a real boss as she rests her one hand at her waist.

“The sunshine?” Messie flusters, and her eyes hover at the window.

“Not that sunshine, darling,” she shouts. “I think you’re gonna be my perfect companion to attend the Hocus Pocus TV Show.”

Messie squints bewilderingly at her. It’s the TV Show that Olivia Jenkins has been bragging about.

“Just like you already know, my startup somehow affiliates with Poise Magazine, and I got a direct invitation to their party after the show,” she informs, “you know; to celebrate.”

“It’s just for partying?” Messie doubts.

“Nah, of course as a business woman, I will approach all of the potential investors and sponsorships to build the perfect TalkPeers, and don’t you forget about my lil’ cousin, Illama, she’s also invited, and she will talk to all the high people in there about her company—”

“Great. That’s just a perfect timing. My cousin will represent Poise in that TV Show,” Messie informs too.

“Oh, yeah, the miss popular Olivia Jenkins. Who doesn’t know that girl?” Lisa giggles.

The vibe of her tone sounds confusing, Messie can’t tell whether it sounds like an understatement or an admiration.

“How about the others?” Messie wonders. “Maybe Anthony or Libby can be your honorable companion? I don’t think I’m good at partying—”

Lisa pretends to cover her both ears, and gives her a very annoying mimic, like those media social funny memes.

“Ain’t I hear no from you. You either join the party or I have you fired from TalkPeers.”

Lisa’s words are final, and Messie knows that.

“Alright, so… you expect me to talk to all the potential investors?” Messie tries to guess.

Lisa almost bursts to laugh when she says that. “You’re kiddin’ me, kiddo?”

Messie agapes. She’s confused whether she’s saying something wrong.

“You ain’t talk to my lions, and get me failed at nailing them,” Lisa says spontaneously. “I bite them death, till they surrender the money.”

“Nailing? Surrender the money?” Messie gets even flustered with the way Lisa chooses her word.

“You don’t have that quality in you, Miss Denver. You can’t even talk to people like I do,” she’s bragging, and then her eyes pop out “—be persuasive.”

“So, what should I do in the party as your companion?”

“Just enjoy the damn party. I want you to read people’s emotion, understand them. That’s your job as a peer therapist,” Lisa says, and she walks toward the door.

Messie’s eyes follow her swift movement.

“And by the way, my reason apart from that is because you look stand out among the crowd, Missy. I need people to look at our direction,” she says convincingly. “Not everyone has that charisma, you know. You’re lucky. I guess that’s why you suddenly become a Poise model, I see.”

Messie sighs in disbelief at her confession, no one has ever said she stands out among the crowd, she doesn’t ever think herself like that either, but at the same time, she doesn’t know how to react.

“You know I was modeling for Poise?” Messie feels nervous now. She doesn’t want Lisa to think that she’s betraying her for a magazine. “It’s just one time, and I don’t—”

“Shush, Missy. I told you my secret now; I love Poise Magazine. Reminds me when I was much younger like you,” Lisa chuckles, and then she opens the door for Messie, and let her returns to her computer table.

***

Until the lunch time comes at twelve o’clock. Everyone in the office is about to get ready leaving their computer table.

“That’s just awesome. I know Lisa cares for you,” Libby says while she grabs her handphone and notebooks into her bag. “Lisa always cares for everyone under her wings. I can tell you that for sure since I’ve been working for almost three years in this office already, right after I graduated from college.”

Libby is older two years than Messie, and of course most people have mistaken her baby face since the very beginning. And she’s graduated in 2014, while Messie’s just graduated this same year of 2016.

Messie doubts that. “So, you think it’s not because she really thinks I’m pathetic because my ex-partner in the blind date has passed on me?”

“That’s why she cares for you. Just think about it, Poise party, where all the famous people will be there, and you can engage with them, and maybe find your true love—”

“Don’t talk about true love. That only happens in the chick flick movies we have watched last weekend at my apartment,” Messie says as she follows Libby turns downstairs.

As they reach the lobby, suddenly Libby pauses and murmurs, “Oh, okay, fairy tale dream, here we go, your prince charming is still waiting there.”

“I don’t think he’s here to see me after he wrote pass on the paper,” Messie assures her.

“Let’s find out,” Libby says and drags Messie along with her.

They walk on the pavement road, approaching the mysterious guy with an army cap, who keeps on staring at his phone most of the time.

“Hey, I thought I saw you yesterday,” Libby shouts over.

He looks back at them in surprise.

“Oh, you… and…” his eyes shift to Messie who looks nervous. “Miss Messie Denver, of course. This is your workplace.”

He stares up at the huge display banner of TalkPeers at the top of building.

“What a good timing. I need to talk to you about yesterday,” he continues.

Messie’s eyes pop out nervously, and then all the uncomfortable emotions mix up in her chest.

“No, there’s nothing to talk about,” she says harshly.

Libby nudges her elbow, and whispers, “Messie, what the hell? This is your chance.”

Messie sighs, she can’t believe she has to agree. “Alright, what is it?”

“Can we talk somewhere else?” He begs, his eyes still look very solemn like yesterday.

“Sure, it’s a lunch time. You guys can talk, I will head to a café nearby, anyway,” Libby says in a hurry, and she taps Messie’s shoulder as giving her a support.

He offers her a ride in his black mini car, which is a very standard looking car like he needs it only for a travel light. As she agrees, he drives away from the street toward the metropolitan avenue.

He doesn’t even ask Messie what she wants to eat, instead, he already chooses a small restaurant, looking like a retro bar, but actually they sell western food, and most people order hamburger here, and so does Joey Marque. He orders two hamburgers and two fruit glasses of guava juice.

“Don’t worry, this is my treat for you. You don’t need to pay,” as if he answers her wondering mind, and surely, she gets bothered with the idea who’s going to pay for the food.

“Thank you so much, for the free lunch,” Messie says as she grabs the glass and start drinking.

Only a few people come here, and as soon as the visitors sit on the sofa near the windowsill, they start ordering a plate of cheesy hamburger too.

On the other side, Joey stares at her, thinking how to start a conversation. Messie also feels anxious to sit on this barstool side by side to him. His face is just too mesmerizing that it bothers her to stay focus. It’s as if she’s looking at a charismatic actor from a movie.

But one thing she wonders, “Why are you all dressed up in an army uniform?”

He chuckles. “Oh, no, this isn’t an army uniform. Only the cap gives you the idea, but the clothes are just primarily my style. I like simplicity.”

“Plain green. Simplicity,” Messie raises her eyebrows, observing him. “So, you’re really not a military people?”

He chuckles again as he finds it funny when she says that in a naïve way. “Absolutely not. I wouldn’t be here asking you out if I was in some kind of military mission.”

She’s taken aback when he mentions about asking her out. She can almost feel herself blushing.

“Really?” Messie tries to reassure herself this time. “So, are you regretting your decision yesterday?”

He opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something, but then a single smile engraves on his full lips.

“I thought that’s what you wanted,” he says. “Besides, the blind date is suck, I told you before. I don’t like that kind of stuff.”

“You’re weird, okay,” Messie can barely read his mind. “So, why are you even bother to come? Oh, right, you were trying to run away from your mom.”

“My mom is complicated. I just don’t want to deal with her right now,” he seems complicated himself, judging from the situation he tries to cover up.

“Whatever, okay. So, what you need to tell me?” Messie tries to sound ignorant when she’s actually pretty curious about his background, but she tries to play it cool.

“I didn’t want to pass on you, okay?” He admits. “I keep thinking about it, and of course I want to keep a tab with you.”

Messie agapes. She can’t believe that he says that now. But something is missing from the picture, like she’s not looking at it entirely.

“Are you doing this on purpose?” She asks, suspecting him. “How do you know about my workplace?”

“Easy. I asked BizzKiss’s team about your profile. I just said to them that I regretted my decision,” he confesses. “But of course, they can’t actually give out the private data, and so that night after the party, I got lucky that I came across with the owner herself; Illama Baroque and Lisa Baroque.”

Messie’s eyes bulge out in surprise. “Wait, what?”

“Lisa is your boss, huh?” He says. “She let me know about TalkPeers where you work at.”

Messie can’t even say a word. It’s like her whole world turns upside down. She can’t tell whether what happened earlier in the office when Lisa acts differently is because of the meeting with this handsome man.

“Tell me, how is it working as a peer therapist?” He sounds literally curious that he slowly leans closer to her, and he adjusts his position inline toward her legs.

“Just almost like a real therapist, except I’m not certified to give a prescription drug and I’m not allowed to give an emotional support for people in attempt of suicide act,” Messie tells him.

“That’s a lot of things to learn at one time,” he chuckles. “The job requires you to deal with people’s problem, you must be really patience after all this time.”

Messie shrugs her shoulders, looking pathetic for once. “It hasn’t been a long time I work at TalkPeers, and it wasn’t my first choice, but life needs money, so I can’t be really picky about job.”

“Must be hard living in New York,” he murmurs while taking off his cap, and Messie can see his dark hair, but this time he doesn’t have a slick pomade hair like yesterday.

“Everyone gets used to live that way in New York. You work, you get paid, and then you get bills. Life is just circling boringly,” Messie mutters.

“Well, I thought you’re a peer therapist?” He gives her a curious stare. “How do you deal with such matter yourself?”

The familiarity with the way he asks her a question kind of reminds Messie with how J. Mark would write in a letter. This version of Joey is like a complete embodiment of the invisible existence of that ex-inmate which she will likely imagine if he’s real in front of her, except that he may not be handsome.

“Honestly, I’m only human. I don’t know. Just go with the flow, I guess” Messie shrugs, unsure of what she says herself.

“You guess?” He chuckles.

“Whatever. So, are you going to undo your decision? Are we like dating now?” Messie tries to form suitable words, but instead, she sounds cynical.

“I don’t know. Are you rashing?” He wonders, as if he tries her patience.

Messie sighs in disbelief, thinking he may be only playing a game on her.

“First thing first, I’d like to know how the girl I’m after is really looks like from closer,” he says.

“Is this a game for you?” Messie sounds like she’s about to despise him. “Because if it is, I’m sorry, I don’t want to play along. I have real life to pursue, and needs to take care of—”

“Real life is boring. You said that yourself,” Joey says, at the same time a waiter brings their hamburgers.

Once the waiter’s gone. Messie stares at him again.

“Just because you think you’re handsome, then you think I will tag along with you, and to be dumbed in the end,” Messie says emotionally. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I am no fool.”

He smiles. He doesn’t say a word in this. It’s like he literally tries her patience on purpose.

Meanwhile, Messie still waits for him to response.

Then he says, “Handsome? That’s what you think of me?”

Messie crosses her arms, being defensive. He surely notices that.

“I just want to know you more, Messie,” he says carefully. “I have no such intention to hurt you, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“Just forget it, okay?” Messie grabs her bag, and then once again she looks at him solemnly before leaving the restaurant, and says, “Let it go. I know you’re not being serious about this relationship. Just pretend we never met.”