chapter 20

"Manager, were drained. Can we take a break first? Please? Please po? We already perfected the dance routine, right? Is it enough? Youve seen it right?"

From the clipboard I'm holding, my eyes darted to Jun who is in front of me, staring like a little pup. The difference is that, he literally looks a puppy.

I heaved out a sigh. His hair is dripping with sweat, and even his shirt is wet especially the chest and back area. 

We've been inside the dome since dawn and the only break they got was the lunch break which was only thirty minutes. Even I, who did not sing nor dance got my energy drained.

"Gyle!", I called the guy whose eyes are currently fixed on the screen while it played the video of their rehearsal earlier. Seeing him like this suddenly feels so nostalgic.

He looked at me and smiled. He brushed his hair using his fingers once before jogging towards me. He stopped a bit midway to tell something to the other boys before proceeding.

Like Jun's, his hair is also dripping with sweat, down to his neck and chest. I can clearly see how his sweat trickled from his temples down to his clavicles when he was already right in front of me.

I got a worried when he was heaving a bit because it wasn't long when they just finished practicing.

"Are there any problems for the group?", Although I asked him a question, my eyes are focused on his sweat and how he catches his breath.

"There's none Manager. And if ever there will be glitches tomorrow, I'm sure the other members will be able to handle it well."

After noticing how he didn't even think twice nor stuttered, I nodded, giving my trust to them just like how he trusts his members.

Although I know very well how good and talented they are, I still can't deny that I'm nervous for them. Everyone is expecting a lot from them and the expectations are set quite high. 

And I'm scared.

I'm scared that they might get hurt. I'm scared of how people will treat them especially in this industry. I know pretty well that they'll be able to surpass the expectations of people for them. But even with just the littlest mistake on stage, people tend to be so judgemental and will mercilessly cancel them.

I know that the road they chose to take isn't easy. I know that in order to overcome the obstacles in this path, they have to get hurt. They have to be stronger.

Pain is inevitable but I know too much pain might break them. At that's what I'm scared of the most.

Breaking yourself while you're in this industry means smiling and being fine all the time, and still being the perfect person that you are that your image portrays.

Breaking yourself means being in pain alone. Breaking yourself means being kept in the dark while youre in the limelight.

"Okay then."

I handed him eleven coupons making his brows arch. He tilts his head to the side while looking at me and back to the coupons.

"What is this for, Manager?", he asks.

"You're all tired. Get some rest."

I bit my lower lip and averted my eyes. My hands are the back, fidgeting and playing with each other. I'm not used to being warm especially to them.

I'm more used to be the kind of Manager who only handles their activities and shows, not the kind of manager they can think of as a sister. Although I really want them to think of me that way. That I'm on their side.

I immediately walked out of the scene before he'll start asking more questions.

He must have understood what I meant right? He must have. He's a good listener and you can also talk to him easily. Of all the members, he's the only one I can talk with seriously. So I guess, he also understood what I meant.

With my head down, I walked towards the backstage where the resting and dressing room is located. It's in the farthest corner so I had to walk briskly. But I have to slow down from time to time as I give back the greetings from the staffs. 

When I opened the door, instead of expecting an empty room where I can finally rest, I saw a lad sitting on one of the chairs infront of the vanity table with his head down. He didn't bother to look at me. Instead, his eyes and hands are focused on his cellphone that he is holding in a landscape manner.

Given his physique which is his broad shoulders and long legs, and his oversized clothes and black beanie, theres no doubt who this guy is although I cant see his face.

I don't know since when was he staying here since I just saw him on the stage earlier, joking around with the other boys as they take short breaks.

I mentally shake my head. It's not my problem of how long he has been staying here anymore. He didn't even bother to look at me or to check at the newly arrived person inside the room at the very least.

I also dont want to disturb him since he looks like he's in a sort of situation just by looking at his fast fingers. I did my best to move quietly, and if possible, I hope he can't feel my presence.

But that's impossible.

"Oh? You're already here? Will we go home already?", He asks informally like I'm just a very close friend or a sister, while his head is still directed on his phone while his fingers are typing fast.

I look around the place, making sure I'm the only person here. Is he talking to me? Of course! How stupid of me, there's no other person inside the room, except if he's talking with someone on the phone which is near impossible.

But the thing is, he only talked to me like this right now, especially when its only the both of us. He has always been a bit formal in talking to me, contrary to his light and easy-going personality.

I mean he jokes around but there's still a wall between us that we can't cross. It's the first time he talked to me warmly. And openly.

“I'm so beat." He groaned a bit while his attention is still on the phone.

My forehead creased but I still chose to continue in arranging my things inside the bag. I was already near the door when he spoke again.

"Hey! Why aren't you respondin--ay shit! I died!"

I turned around, amused by his words. He's too comfortable around me right now that he managed to curse infront of me. On some days, on most days rather, he isn't like this.

He looked up with his eyes closed and furrowed brows. He pinched the brudge of his nose, then sighed harshly before he spoke again.

"Why weren't you responding earlier-", His sentence was caught in mid-air when he opened his eyes that immediately met with mine. His chinky eyes slowly turned round as he tried to sit a bit more properly.

"Manager?!"

"I just don't think I have to answer you, that's why.", I explained. 

He scratched his nape and stood up. He put his phone on his pocket before sighing and walking towards me. Contrary to how light and carefree he was earlier, he's back to his usual self again, guarded.

When he was beside me, he enveloped his arm around my shoulders and put weight on it. I glared at the ground because his arms were too heavy and it seems like hes enjoying it.

God! Even if he jokes around like this, I can still sense that he's being on his guard and careful.

"Let's go Manager. I want to go home now. I miss my bed."

He dragged me towards outside the backstage. I kept trying to get myself out of his grasp or to atleast let his hand put a little less weight but he keeps putting more weight.

Damn! This Evan didn't get his shit together again. Even his chinky eyes are now formed in a straight line.

He is still a bit sweaty from the practice earlier even though he already changed into a new shirt. I normally don't like being with sweaty people even though they dont smell bad. I just dont like it. It looks so unhygenic.

But Evan... just smells too good. So he's an....exeption.