chapter 8

"The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss."

~Lionel

Shannon's head was deep in a book she was reading, I was learning more about her day by day and I loved the experience. She was beautiful in all aspects and I couldn't for the life of me, fathom why someone would want to hurt her like that imbecile did.

Her eyes were a twinkling hazel brown with long lashes that drove me nuts whenever she blinked. Her fiery-red hair was long and heavy, past her butt. At 5'7, she always felt that she was too tall and skinny but I loved her height and her curvy figure. I made sure I kept reminding her how beautiful she was. I had my flaws too, I had the notion in my head that nobody in the world was perfect and it was okay to be different.

"Why are you staring at me." She put the book upside down on the living room rug and looked up at me with a small smile.

"Can't I admire my woman anymore?" I joined her on the rug and copied her cross-legged position.

"How long before Kay, Andrew and Luke arrive?" Her cheeks turned red, she was so shy whenever I complemented her or anything in the lines of that.

"Thirty minutes or so, they landed a while ago." Andrew was my childhood buddy, we grew up together and have been inseparable ever since. Luke was Kayleigh's brother and my favourite cousin. The three of us spent most of our time together, except for the past few months.

"Are you sure that nobody is tracking Kayleigh down? I can't believe I'm thinking of that just now." She threw her arms in the air.

"Relax, I've played this game far too long and I know the risks. Luke and Andrew have got it under control."

"What do you mean you've played this game far too long?" Her brows creased and I almost facepalmed.

"I mean that I know how to stay on the down low from when I was a teenager." I lied. I knew what I was doing was wrong and that I needed to tell her the truth but it would mean losing her.

"Oh!" I could feel the doubt in her voice. She opened her mouth to speak but the door opening interrupted her.

"Hey yooo!" Kayleigh stuck her tongue out as she danced her way in. Shannon sprung to her feet and jumped at her best friend, it had been ages since they last saw each other.

"The man himself." Luke grinned as he approached me for a side hug. "Look who finally got lucky." Andrew joked as he patted my back. I missed their company real bad.

"Just admit, you're both jealous cause you're still single." I teased, earning double smacks on the head from them. "Ouch! You guys still act like teenagers." I whined, rubbing the back of my head.

"This is my blockhead brother, Luke." Kay told Shannon as she pinched his ear.

"Nice meeting you, cutie." Luke did a bow.

"And this is our friend for life Andrew. Guys, meet Shannon woods." Kay said. It was weird that she had never met any of us before the ordeal happened.

"She's prettier than the pictures you sent me." I elbowed Andrew in the stomach while Shannon blushed and said her thanks.

"Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to seize the opportunity to ask for delicacies. I'm starving to death and if I don't eat this instance, I'll collapse." Kay rubbed her rumbling tummy, she was always hungry. 

"You eat like a man but I wonder where the food goes." Luke's fingers were on his chin as he teased his sister and we couldn't help but burst into fits of laughter.

"Says the biggest fuckboy in town." Kayleigh remarked with an eyeroll.

"Owww!" Andrew and I both exclaimed as we doubled over in laughter.

"You guys are too much. Let's go eat now, shall we?" Shannon said, still giggling at Luke's expression.

"That's why I love you." Kayleigh winked as she dragged Shannon to the kitchen.

"Dude, you need to stop fucking around, you're getting old." I punched Luke's shoulder as we sat at the dinning table and Andrew nodded in agreement, "if your future wife were to find out about your body count, she would cringe or probably puke her guts out." He said.

"You two are just being silly right now, life is too short to be this serious. Besides, I'm not even married, so kindly let me enjoy my freedom before I get locked away for life. And who even tells their real body count?" He waved his hands between us as he spoke.

"Not me." Andrew raised his hands up.

"Nor me." I had to agree that it was a terrible subject to have with your woman. I'd rather just lie to save her heart from breaking. I'm faithful alright, but I'm not a saint. I've done it all and yes, I regret most of the things I've done.

"You're crazy if you think I'd take four women or something in the lines of that for a body count." Shannon dropped a dish of rice before me, startling me. Andrew and Luke whistled before cracking up. I was too embarrassed to word out anything.

"And to think that you were my favourite relative, ewww!" Kay scrunched her nose at me.

"Wait, but I'm supposed to be your favourite relative." Luke whined. They fought over silly stuff but loved each other beyond imagination.

"You're actually the worst." Kay smirked.

"Ouch! Worse than cold-hearted Aunt Lucy?" Luke held his hand on his chest.

"You're way worse." Kayleigh winked and ran out before Luke could afford a comeback.

Once dinner was served, Shannon sat beside me. We couldn't stop awing at the food she had prepared. Chicken wings, plain rice and some hot spicy tomato stew. She was a good cook and I loved waking up to her meals.

After diving into the food like starving animals, we sat and talked for hours. She was laughing hard at the jokes we made about each other. I smiled everytime she doubled over and clutched her poor aching ribs.

Luke and Andrew with the combination of Kayleigh were a handful, it was hard to have a bad day when they were present. They always made everything lighter and had your back whenever you had it bad.

"We're gonna need us some girls time." Shannon said as they cleared the last plates.

* * *

"Dude, did you tell her about Joanne?" Luke whispered, we were in my home office.

"No."

"The gang?" He raised his eyebrows.

"No."

"What about the gun in that drawer?" Andrew pointed at the hidden compartment.

"No" I sighed.

"Dude! You're practically screwed. What are you waiting for?" Luke shook his head.

"She just found out about Les and I don't think it's the right time to tell her about this." I threw my arms up.

"That was the right moment, you should have told her everything. It would have been less complicated than telling her now." Andrew insisted.

"I beg to differ, she would have run for her life." Luke said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, isn't it obvious that she loves you because you're a good and caring guy in her eyes. I don't want to stick around when she finds out you formed a gang to find your lost lover and to make matters worse, you're the perfect example of the life she's running from." Luke gesticulated his disapproval.

"I hate to agree but he's absolutely right." Andrew said.

My head was beginning to throb. I got up and poured a scotch of whiskey into three cups before handing them each a glass then sat down with the bottle and drank a few shots.

"What should I do now?" I was lost, I didn't want to lose her. I hadn't admitted this to her yet but I really loved her. Like I had never loved before.

"Just tell her the truth, she'll understand." Luke said.

"She won't understand. How do you tell your girlfriend that you can't get over the obsession of looking for your missing lover? Unless you're willing to tell her everything, disperse the gang and stop the search for Joanne." Andrew suggested.

"It's easier said than done." I whispered.

About three years ago, I met a girl. She was charming and I fell in love. Within a few months, I proposed to her and we were set to get married in six months or so. But something tragic happened and I was miserable for so long before I finally came to accept that I had to stop moping and do something about it.

I downed the scotch from the bottle and shut my eyes tight as I traveled down memory lane . . .

{A few years back.}

"Hey hun, Claire will be waiting for me at the airport in about thirty minutes from now, so I have to get going." I looked from my watch to Joanne. She was busy unpacking cooked food she had ordered from The Martins, she couldn't cook to save her life.

"Alright, I'll just do some final touches here then take a shower. I hope she'll like me." She crossed her fingers and walked towards me.

"I'm sure she will, stop fretting." I pulled her to me and kissed her.

"Will she notice that I ordered instead of cooking?"

"She's a ten year old, she wouldn't mind as long as the food is delicious which I know it is." I assured her.

"Alright, I'll try to calm my nerves." She forced a smile on her face.

"Alright, I've got to go now. Talk to you later." I kissed her cheek and put my raincoat on.

"I love you." I heard her say as I pulled the door shut behind me. The weather had only gotten worse, rain poured heavily and made a tap tap sound on my raincoat as I made my way to the car and unlocked it.

I made a mental note to buy Claire a raincoat as I took the last turn to the airport. I sat for a few minutes in the waiting area with a newly acquired coat in my hand. My face lit up when I saw Claire walking towards me, I was glad she had landed safely in the terrible weather.

"Hey pumpkin." I gave her a kiss on the forehead before carrying her and spinning her around. Her infectious laughter mingled with the numerous voices, of happy families who were as delighted as I was to see their loved ones.

"I missed you Daddy." She said once I dropped her down.

"I missed you much more, pumpkin." I pinched her nose before helping her into the raincoat and off we went.

"How's school." I asked as we pulled to a stop in the slow moving traffic. The roads were flooded because of the heavy rainfall, causing traffic.

"Hmm! Same old, same old." She scrunched her nose. She did well in school but wasn't a big fan of studying practically every day with only little vacation days.

As we drove into the compound, I noticed something odd. The door was wide open and I was instantly on alert. I left the engine running and turned to Claire, "don't come down no matter what and don't open the door for anybody but me. If I don't come back in three minutes, call 911." I instructed her and she bobbed her head up and down with a worried look on her face.

I got off and ran to the house. My heart dropped to my feet when I saw the mess that was supposed to be my living room. Everything was thrown around and I wondered if we had been mugged.

"Joanne?" I yelled, running to the kitchen but she wasn't there. The food she was prepping earlier was on the floor and so was almost everything else.

I searched every single room while calling to her but no response. When I finally got to our room, I couldn't believe it. There was blood everywhere, her towel and the ring I gave to her were on the floor.

That's when it clicked, someone was after me or my family and my daughter was outside. I took the ring and put it in my pocket before bolting out of the room like lighting. When I got to the car and saw Claire was safe, I heaved in relief.

{End of flashback}