chapter 51

Erizzabeth's POV

Nagtungo ako sa patlang dahil oras na ng ensayo namin. Iyon ang nakalagay sa schedule ko na kailangan kong sumali sa ensayo nila dahil gaya ng sinabi ni Mayor, kailangan kong matutunan ang kultura nila.

Pagdating ko sa patlang, naroon na sina Wayne, Yrixx at iba pang kasamahan na mga pinuno para simulan ang pag-ensayo ng mga archery.

"It's your turn, Wayne." Binigay ni Yrixx ang pana kay Wayne.

Agad na pumuwesto si Wayne at itinutok ang palaso sa direksyon kung saan niya papanain ang target board. Binitiwan niya ang palaso at agad itong tumama sa gitna. Nagsipalakpakan naman ang mga taong nakasaksi sa galing niya habang nakaupo lamang sa gilid. May mga binibini ring nanunuod habang pinapayungan ng kanilang katulong at pinaypayan ang sarili gamit ang kanilang magarang pamaypay.

"Ang ayos nang pagtira mo, ah! Nakakahanga!" puri ng isa nilang kasamahan.

"Habang tumatagal, mas lalo kang humusay, Wayne." Ngumisi lamang si Wayne.

He took another arrow and settled down again. He still hit in the middle. The women on the side who I thought were 'binibini' but when they squealed the barking dog still prevailed. Kahit ako ay mapapahanga rin sa galing niya dahil hindi ko inakala na napaka-rami niya palang kayang gawin.

"Hey, Erizz! You wanna try?" Yrixx approached me.

"Ughmm, no... thanks," pagtanggi ko.

"Just try. Pomise, you'll going to enjoy this game." Lumingon ako kay Wayne at nagtagpo ang mga mata namin.

"W-wala akong alam kung paano ito laruin." Yrixx smiled and grabbed my hand to gave the bow.

"I told you to try. Be an archers sometimes." He looked at Wayne. "Bro, teach her how to play this game."

"N-no, no. It's okay, don't waste your time just for me." Ibinalik ko sa kanya ang pana. Wayne slowly walked towards us.

"Why? Sayang naman kung hindi mo susubukan. Wayne can teach you properly." Hindi ako makapagsalita nang nakatayo na si Wayne sa gilid ni Yrixx.

I was restless and I wanted to dig myself in the ground because I was ashamed of my confession yesterday but I was rejected.

"Accept it," Wayne said seriously.

"Ha?" I stunned.

"Accept it. Lolo Dad will be mad if you don't try to learn our culture." He grabbed the bow to Yrixx and gave it to me. "Prepare yourself. I'll teach you." He immediately walked away.

I really don't want to do it and it's enough for me to watch them playing those things but eventually, Wayne always force me to do. Hindi ako basta-bastang napipilit pero pagdating sa kanya, masyado akong nagpapahila sa mga akit niya kaya nadadala naman ako.

"Ready?" Wayne asked.

"I don't think-- I mean, yeah." Pumuwesto sa likod ko si Wayne.

"You can do it, Erizz!" Yrixx shouted far away from where we were.

"Hold the bow." I obeyed his command. "Are you a right eye dominant or left?"

"Right." Tumindig ang balahibo ko nang unti-unting humaplos ang kanyang palad sa braso ko.

"Then, hold the bow in you left hand. Stand straight and focus yourself on the game, Erizz." I swallowed when his lips closer to my ears. "Handle the string with your right hand... with care," he added.

"Ba't ang dami mong alam, Wayne?" tanong ko. "You're obviously expert for playing, huh?" I chuckled.

I turned my gaze on him. My heart pounded when our eyes collide as we stared for such a long time. I thought he will accompany me to laughed as I teased him but he's still serious.

"Remember, you will be holding the bow with the hand that is opposite to your eye dominance. If you are shooting right handed then you will be holding the bow with your left." He averted so I looked back straight again.

"Simulan mo sa paghila." Ginabayan niya ang kamay ko sa paghila ng string. "Focus on your target, Erizz. Kapag sinabi kong bitiwan mo, bitiwan mo... ang string," he whispered.

Unti-unting tumulo ang mga pawis ko sa noo dahil sa tagal ng pagbitaw ng string. I just wait his signal when to let go my hand to the string.

"Let it go." I immediately let go of the string as the arrow flew in the direction of the target board. My smile widened as it hit the middle.

"Nice one, Erizz!" Yrixx shouted again.

"Now, do it alone. I'll watch you." Lumayo siya sa akin.

I looked at the bow as I thought how I shoot the arrow to the target board. I took a deep breath and focus to my target as what Wayne said a while ago.

"Wayne!" I was about to let go my hand to the string but I heard Dirdha's voice calling the attention of Wayne.

"What are you doing here?" Wayne asked as she approached towards him.

"I've been watching you on the balcony and I was envious what you were doing. Can you teach me too? Besides, tapos mo nang tinuruan si Erizz." Her smile widened as she looked at me.

"I'm not done watching her--"

"Magaling naman si Erizz, hindi mo na kailangan pang gabayan siya." Tumingin si Wayne sa akin.

"Yeah, Dirdha was right. Kailangan ko rin matuto nang mag-isa." I forced myself to smile even if it hurts.

"Thanks, Erizz! You're really my good friend!" I nodded.

Ibinalik ko nalang ang tingin ko sa harap at nagpatuloy sa pag-ensayo. Isinama ko ang naramdaman kong inis sa pagtira nang palaso papunta sa target board. Kakaibang ngisi ang ibinigay ng labi ko kahit hindi ito tumama sa gitna.

Kumuha ulit ako ng isa pang palaso na nakasabit sa likuran ko pero hindi ko mapigilang lumingon sa direksyon nilang dalawa.

"Tama ba 'tong ginagawa natin, Wayne?" Gayang-gaya nilang dalawa ang ginawa namin ni Wayne kanina. Kung anong tinuro ni Wayne sa akin ay ganoon din ang ginawa niya kay Dirdha.

I let go of the bow and arrow before leaving the field  I don't want to play anymore if my attention can't focus.

"Where are you going? Hindi ka pa tapos, ah," Yrixx wondered.

"Just give me a time to rest. I'll be right back." Agad ko siyang nilampasan.

I was annoyed with myself why I am so easily hurt when they were together. But if I hadn't just confessed to him I would probably have avoided hurting myself. I was just assuming that just in case Wayne noticed and liked me too. I was too hopeful that even if he was a jerk he would change.

I'm not in a hurry, I just want a little attention on him. I'm desperate but... I really don't care. Ngayon lang ako nagkagusto ng ganito.

I wiped my tears and fix myself when someone knock on the door outside the room. I saw the doorknob turned and gradually opened.

"Are you okay?" It's Yrixx.

"Y-yeah... of course!" I took a deep breath as he walked and sat on the edge of the bed next to me.

"You like him?" Hindi ko siya sinagot habang napakibit-balikat lang siya at diretso ang tingin sa tapat ng malaking bintana. "Hindi talaga ako makapaniwalang maraming nagkakagusto sa lalakeng iyan. Pati ikaw, naging desperada sa kanya."

"Magugustuhan niya rin kaya ako, Yrixx?" Ngumisi siya.

"I don't think so. Noon pa man, malabo siyang nagkakagusto sa mas bata na katulad mo." Napayuko ako. "Sorry but no offense, Erizz. Gusto ko lang na itigil mo na ang pagkadesperada mo sa kanya. Payong kaibigan lang. Don't let yourself to chase a man who doesn't deserve." Unti-unti akong lumingon sa kanya at ngumiti.

"Salamat." Tumango siya at ginulo ang buhok ko.

"Can you go out first, Yrixx." Napalingon kaming dalawa sa tapat ng pintuan. "We just need to talk to the woman next to you." Si Wayne.

Tumayo si Yrixx. "Okay. I guess, you really need this time to talk." Sumenyas siya sa akin na lumabas. Isinara niya ang pinto bago lumapit sa akin si Wayne.

"What is your problem, Erizz?!" Dinikitan ko siya ng kilay.

"And what's wrong with you?" Umiling-iling siya.

"Why do you leave the field immediately?!" Naiinis na siya.

"Nagpapahinga lang naman ako, ah. Problema ko ba kung abala ka kay Dirdha?" Mahigpit niyang hinawakan ang braso ko dahilan na naitayo niya ako.

"Kapag sinabi kong hindi ka aalis sa tabi ko, hindi ka dapat aalis. Maliban nalang kung sinabi kong aalis ka, Erizz! Hindi ko sinabing umalis ka kanina but why you're making a decision against with me?!" Tinaasan niya ako ng boses.

Hinila ko ang braso ko sa kanya pero hinawakan niya ulit. "Bitiwan mo ako." Seryoso ko siyang tinitigan. Hinila ko ulit ngunit ganoon pa rin ang ginagawa niya.

I was surprised when he loaded me and dropped on the bed. I was about to get up but he put me back. He held both my palms tightly and leaned it.

"Stop it, Wayne!" saway ko.

Naninigas ako nang sinimulan niya ulit akong halikan sa leeg. Pinipilit ko pa rin kung paano ako makawala pero hindi ako makahanap ng paraan.

"I said, stop it!" I shouted, and he stopped. "Please, stop! I don't need your kisses, I don't need your seduction kung laro lang ang lahat ng 'to! Sawa na ako na paglaruan mo, Wayne." My tears welled up as he stayed silent.

"Then, what do you want?" Matagal ko siyang sinagot at tila iniisip pa ng utak ko.

"I just want... I just want you to love me back." He smirked.

"You are not yet the right age to be loved." Umiling ako.

"Bakit? May edad ba ang pagmamahal? Tell me so I can make an appointment with my papers to add the number of my age."

"Oo, gusto rin naman kita pero hindi sapat iyon para sabihin kong mahal na kita." My world stopped turning. "Learn to wait because that's where you'll know if you truly love the person. Don't be desperate, because the more you do that it's like you're just showing me that you're flirting" Ngumisi ako.

"Palibhasa takot ka... takot kang magmahal. Kaya sobrang galing mong maglaro kasi iyon lang ang makapagpasaya sa sarili mo... you are right. I should not be desperate, so I will stop. Let's stop this game. Let's stop how we feel because we don't really understand each other. It's just like I am the sun, looking for you in the morning but suddenly I will know that you're a moon. So no matter how many decades the world has been in, we will never meet."

After that day, Wayne and I did not notice again until we went home. The two weeks we had to stay in Asynithis village were only five days. But even so, it was still worth it kahit hindi sumasabay ang kalagayan ko sa kalikasan.

"Are you really determined to leave?" Lolo Zandro asked.

I'm currently in his office while I was carrying my luggage. Ngayon na kasi ang araw na uuwi ako sa totoong lugar kung nasaan ako nababagay.

"Yes, Lolo." He nodded and forced to smiled. "I'm so sorry if I failed to do your expectations."

"No, no, no. I'm happy that you learned some few lessons. Thank you, hija." I smiled.

"Thank you so much, Mayor. I'll never forget your kindness." I approached towards him and hugged him tightly. "I'll miss you," I whispered.

"Take care." He caressed my back.

Dahan-dahan akong kumalas sa pagyakap sa kanya. Binitbit ko ang bagahe palabas ng kanyang opisina. Naparaan ako sa kwarto ni Wayne at hindi sinadyang nakita ko siya sa labas na nakasandal sa pader. Agad naman siyang umiwas sa akin at pumasok sa kwarto niya kaya nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad.

Honestly, I will miss this place. I will never forget how I went and experienced a strange life than my normal life. I really do not want to leave but there are times that are really necessary especially there are words that I want to change for myself. I realized that from now on, I will no longer be desperate and beg the person I can not love. I will let the time come when someone will feel what I feel. And because of Wayne, I learned... I learned that I don't need to be fool.

At ang lahat ng iyon, ay isang aral para sa akin. At limang taon na ang nakalipas at paulit-ulit ko pa rin itong inaalala. Limang taon ng tumatatak sa aking isipan kung paano ko minahal ng sobra si Wayne. Kasabay ng panahon tila naging bato na rin ang puso ko.

"Erizz, are you done?" Gael entered here inside the music room. "Kakatapos lang namin sa Arts."

"Kaunti nalang, Gael, matatapos na rin 'to," sabi ko habang patuloy sa pag-strum ng gitara.

"Okay, I'll just wait. Mas kailangan mo ng oras para sa darating na kompetisyon." Tumango ako at ngumiti. "Teka, nakalimutan ko. Nagdala ako ng Frappe at Turks para hindi ka magutom."

"Thanks, Gael." Isinantabi ko muna ang gitara.

"Alam mo, naiinggit talaga ako sa talento mo. Sana ako rin ay mabiyayaan ng pagkagaling sa pag gitara." Ngumuso siya.

"Kung hindi ka man mabiyayaan, ipagdarasal ko nalang na mahanap mo ang lalakeng marunong tumugtog ng gitara." Ngumisi ako.

"Hayy, sana nga no." Napailing nalang ako.

Many are really jealous of my talent in playing the guitar. They only notice once a woman who can play an instrument so I am also very lucky that I am one of the blessed. My talent is one of my investments to reach my dream of going to Hollywood. And it is also a pain reliever for me every time I get hurt.