chapter 4

Thick smoke fills my lungs as we walk into a little downtown dive bar not too far from campus. The air is thick with mostly fruity scents because everyone has decided vaping is much cooler than cigarettes. I fallow Fiona to a little corner booth where we shed our coats and purses. I may he a little paranoid, but it's almost like I can already feel dozens of little eyes watching out every move. 

"Let's get some drinks," Fiona suggests as she digs her wallet out. I walk with her up to the bar and watch as she shamelessly flirts with the bartender. "I'll take a vodka cranberry, and my girl here will take a sex on the beach." The moderately handsome barkeep can't keep his eyes off of Fiona's eye-grabbing cleavage not that it's his fault. They didn't call her "booby trap" in high school for nothing. 

I internally scold her lackadaisical actions, but in the end, it works in our favor. 

"First rounds on me,1adies," he tells us with a flirtatious wink. I do my best to not be awkward. I smile back and grab my drink making sure not to fall on my face, drop the drink, or die. Once it's in my hand I rush it to my lips, desperate for a taste of that liquid courage. 

I take frantic gulps out of desperation, the berry flavors tickling my tongue as the alcohol works it's magic. 

Holy crap this is delicious. 

"Wow What is this?" I ask Fiona. "It tastes like juice." 

"It pretty much is, but watch it. That juice bites." She smirks and pats my back, moving us to our table. 

After the second round of adult fruit punch, I can feel the nerves wearing off. It really pathetic that it takes a substantial amount of rum to turn me into a normal person, but I suppose it is what it is. 

Fiona and I somehow end up talking to a couple of guys at our booth when out of the corner of my eye he walks in. 

My breath hitches, and I nearly choke on my last sip, the alcohol burning my lungs as I watch the most beautiful man I've ever seen make a beeline for the bar. 

I shamelessly watch as the bartender hands him a very full glass of amber liquor and my skin erupts in chills. 

He didn't order a beer like some men do after a long day, and he didn‘t order shots so he isn't just here to get shit faced. 

No, he ordered a whiskey. I would recognize that color anywhere, my father favoring the kind when I was younger. 

The alcohol that means I'm here to drown my sorrows, but I want to feel them suffocate as I do. The kind that says I've got nothing else to lose. 

He's sitting all alone on a bar stool while I'm watching him tell a story that no one else seems to hear. 

Fiona finally notices I've checked out of the conversation with our two table mates, and she follows my misty stare to the bar. Her jaw practically falls to the floor once she sees him, but her quick mind immediately springs into action. 

"Alrighty guys, I think I'm ready to be alone with my friend now." Fiona's usually cheerful voice is cold and Iinite as she glares at the men. 

"What's wrong, I thought we were having fun?" One of the men questions. 

"We were darling but it's girl time now so bye bye." Fiona's 'get lost' stare has the men quickly scurrying away, but I can't take my eyes off of him. 

Thomas Crane. 

"What are the odds he'd choose this dingy little bar, honestly. I can't escape him, Pi!" I ruff up my hair in obvious aggravation. 

Not that I wanted to escape him, but it almost seems like the universe is torturing me for what I've done. 

"Go talk to him," Fiona says, glaring at me with her arms crossed. She‘s definitely tired of my crap. 

"Talk to him? Are you crazy? You know that I can't talk to him! I can type sure, and I can plan conversations in my head but talking Fiona?! That's hilarious! I can form sentences about as well as Helen Keller and you know that!" I glare at my best friend who isn't the least bit amused by my outburst. 

Fiona eventually sighs and leans over the table, throwing her hands on my shoulders. "Look at me," she orders. 

"I am," I say, staring her in her stupid face. 

"Even if you mess this up you can still hide behind your username later, but sitting over there is the man you're crazy about and he's obviously got something on his mind. This is your chance, Soph." Fiona leans back and takes a quick sip of her drink, her eyes watching me carefully. 

"Now, are you gonna be a little bitch about it or are you going to put on your big girl panties and go seduce your English Professor?" 

I stare blankly at Fiona for a count of One. Two. Three. 

"You know what?" I say as I grab my drink, downing the remains in one big gulp. "I'm gonna do both." 

Awkward Sophia is dead. She's been replaced by cool, sexy, tipsy Sophia instead, and I'm about to make this man fall! 

I rise to my feet, and I Can see the slow clap building in Fiona’s eyes. 

She better not. 

I internally scream as I walk towards Thomas, the man I've been pining for all year. The man I've been talking to for four months. The only man who's ever made me feel like this. 

In my head, I have an amazing pickup line planned. There's literally no way I can mess this up. I know I look amazing so there's really nothing to worry about. 

I'm right behind him now, I can see the back of his head. His tightly groomed brown hair that messes up handsomely in the front. I can see that his white dress shirt is unbuttoned and the sleeves are rolled up. I bite my tongue, ready to use my attention getter but something completely different comes out. 

"You know I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson Who said "as a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey," 

Damn. 

Why, Sophia? What are you, eighty? I bite my bottom lip to suppress a groan of self-disappointment, but I don't get to live in my self-deprecating shame for very long. 

Thomas shoots his head in my direction like a bolt of lighting, and I'm almost knocked back by the beautiful blue eyes now piercing my soul. They're wrought with dark circles and his jawline has the most delectable amount of stubble peppering it. He's unlike I've ever seen him before, and it's honestly enough to make my mouth water. 

"Sophia." 

Thomas says my name. That's it for a moment, he just says it. I can see he's thinking and there are Wheels churning in his mind behind his azure stare. 

And for a moment it looks like he's looking at a long lost lover. 

Oh no. Does he know?