chapter 6

"Calm down, Sophia, it's just a dance," He whisperers against my ear, and I feel my hand on his shirt spring shut, grabbing a handful of the white fabric. My other hand slowly comes up and grasps his waist just above his belt. If he didn't have such a tight hold on me I'd crumble to the floor. 

I try to take deep breaths to calm my sporadic heart rate, but it's no use. 

I've waited so long to feel his hard body against mine, and now that it's happening I'm in sensory overload. I'm drowning in his presence, but oh please don't let anyone rescue me. 

Just a few seconds later I feel our hips swaying in perfect unison to the melodic beat that fills the drafty bar air. Thomas pulls me back slightly to peer down at me, our eyes instantly locking. His are pleading for something that I can't quite understand, but I stare back relentlessly, trying to read them. 

Our gaze only stops when he takes a moment to slowly spin me, his hand coming to rest back on my hip only lower this time. 

He's in ass territory now. 

Blood rushes to my cheeks, and I have to stifle a breath of surprise as his hand slowly drifts lower, all the while he's staring a path through my soul. 

I can faintly hear the song coming to an end over the sound of blood thumping in my ears, however, I'm completely oblivious to the fact that we've stopped moving and are now just as frozen as statues. 

Seconds or hours pass by in complete rictus until like someone slowly Winding up an old toy car, Thomas starts leaning in. 

Usually, red lights would be flashing in my head, and I'd be putting on the brakes but through rose tinted glasses the lights look like stars, and I'm about to make a wish on the brightest one. 

My high heel clad feet move on their own as I roll up onto my toes to meet Thomas in the middle. His lips linger so close to mine that I can smell the savory liquor on his lips. 

He jolts back an inch or so as though he's not quite sure but recovers the distance quickly, his strong fingers becoming lost in my long wispy hair. 

Thomas squeezes both hands tight, my ass now trapped snugly between his tingers, and my hair tugging me slightly backward. 

He licks his lips and lets our eyes speak to each other before using his possessive grasp to suddenly slam our lips together. 

I practically moan against the feeling of his lips against mine, and I quiver as electricity courses through my bones. 

Thomas groans from deep within his throat as his tongue parts my lips. I'm holding onto his shirt for dear life, hoping he never let's go. 

The feeling between my thighs is complete nirvana, and I'm about to scream take me right here, but before my erotic fantasy is realized Thomas pushes us apart so hard that I almost lose my balance. 

"Fuck me, what have I done?" Thomas cries as he runs two nervous hands through his hair. I feel like I've just gone skydiving and my parachute didn't open before I splattered on the ground. He sees the look of a shock and horror on my face and starts back peddling. 

"No no, it's not you!" He defends "lord knows it isn't you Sophia, but not only is this illegal but I'm also seeing someone." Thomas's face screws up slightly "well more like I'm talking to someone but still, I'm so sorry this was a mistake." 

I watch in complete bewilderment as Thomas rushes to the bar to pay his tab then shoots me one fleeting glance before he runs out of the building entirely. 

Fiona, who has been watching the Whole thing unravel, is now sprinting over to me in her three-inch leather heels. 

"Holy shit, Sophia what was that?! Who are you!? What have you done to my nervous little librarian?!" Shes practically out of breath by the time she's done screaming. 

"It doesn't matter," I say bitterly, and Fiona's face falls. 

"What do you mean?" She asks. 

"I mean he regrets it that's what. And you know what's even more messed up? He thinks he just cheated on me." 

"Wait, why?" She thinks for a few moments before realization strikes. "Ohh honey wow. Let's get you home." Fiona offers as a quick solution. 

Yeah, let's. 

*** 

Fiona is passed out on my couch with a Dorito hanging halfway out of her mouth. I check to make sure she's completely asleep before sneaking over to her bag and pulling my computer out. I tap on the keys as quietly as I can to bring up bookishespcapes.com. 

Instantly, a half a dozen messages or so pop into view. 

IchabodTom 

8:30: Good evening, sweetheart how are you? 

8:50: Is everything okay? You don't usually miss our talking times. 

9:20: I really don't want to seem like an overbearing jerk so I'll say goodnight, darling. I hope all is well. 

10:00: I've been thinking about somethings. I really wish we could talk. 

I roll my eyes at the screen, still a bit sore from our encounter at the bar. There's the proof he had been drinking way before I ran into him. No self-respecting literature teacher would make so many errors. 

IchabodTom 

10:15: I think I need some air. : 

12:32: We need to talk... 

Suddenly my heart screeches to a halt. How is it even though I already know what Thomas wants to talk about that sentence still scares the hell out of me? 

I look over at my clock and notice that it's almost two in the morning. I don't know if he's even still awake, but I type my message anyways. 

LiteraryLane21 

I'm so sorry, my friend dragged me out tonight. I wanted to tell you first, but she insisted I take a break from my computer. What did you want to talk about? 

Part of me really wanted Thomas to be asleep, but it doesn't seem I will be so lucky tonight. 

IchabodTom 

You don't have to apologize to me. You have every right to live your life outside of this website. I'm happy you were able to have some fun. What I really need to say is honestly, Lane. I don't know what we are. I know that I'm obsessed with talking to you and that there's no one in this world who I want to meet more, but other than that I don't know what to call this relationship. That being said, I went out tonight myself and had a bit too much to drink. I kissed someone. Someone I had absolutely no business kissing for many reasons, but I'm so sorry. I know this isn't a typical relationship, but I wanted you to know because I feel guilty. I'm sorry. 

I sit and ponder Thomas's long message for several minutes, practically biting off all of my fingernails. If he claims to like me so much how could he kiss me? Not that we're dating so what does it matter if he kissed me? At least he told me that he kissed me instead of hiding it from me... 

My head starts hurting something fierce, and I rub my temples in anguish. 

Oh for heaven's sake, what the hell am I even talking about?! 

I press my fingers to the keys and quickly type out my response. 

LiteraryLane21 

Thomas, you don't owe me any explanation. We're not technically together, and what really matters is that you felt guilty and you told me about it. Don't beat yourself up over this. It doesn't change anything between us. 

Send. He responds almost instantly. 

IchabodTom 

I promise you on my life, Lane. I will never keep anything from you, and I will never lie to you. 

My eyes stare blankly at my screen for some time before I softly whisper out loud to myself. 

"I believe you." 

***