chapter 61

"I got his number," I texted Troy, waiting for his reply. 

"Great!! Now, text him and don't mess it up." Troy is my childhood friend, he has basically wanted me to get a boyfriend, but at a point he gave up when he realized I was always the one ruining things. But when I mentioned Noah to him, he had been telling me to text him, his exact words were, 

Weeks ago...

"Emily, text him! On Instagram, on snap, on WhatsApp,  anywhere, but talk to him, speak to him! You'll regret it." He said over the call, 

"I would but..."

"But what? You're scared and I don't know why,"

"I'm not scared, I just... you know it's low for a girl to talk to a guy or text a guy first,"

"From what you told me, he's introverted, am I correct?" I had a feeling he was going to win this argument the way he was going, I nodded my head slowly, 

"So text him. Just text him."

"Okay okay, I don't even have his number,"

"Snap? You should have his snap,"

"No, I don't. " he shook his head, 

"His instagram?"

"Not that either. See, I have no way to talk to him."

"Well then, get it from your friends then,"

"I can't, I just..."

"Emily, I know you very well, and since the first day I knew about you, I have never seen you talk about any guy, they way you've talked about this guy, it wouldn't kill you to text him first. Listen, most guys like it when girls make the first move, and it's obvious you're head over heels for this guy, you like him,"

"Even if I'm supposed to talk to him, what do I say? I don't want things to get awkward and all,"

"You said he baked right?" 

"Well... yeah..."

"So, talk about baking," he said and I laughed immediately,

"Baking? Seriously? What do I say, yo Noah, the cake you baked was nice, wanna bake again? Gosh, that sounds lame,"

"But it isn't, just listen to how you talk about this guy, I've been with you and seen all the guys you talk to, none of them have you blushing for no reason, feeling anxious and all, and it's a good thing, because at some point I thought you either traded away your heart after your ex, or you weren't into guys again, or you just weren't sure about your sexuality, " 

"Troy!!!" I screamed his name laughing, 

"Don't Troy me, I can't be blamed. Since your ex, all the other guys, you always end it before it gets to something serious then your stupid ass will be complaining about being single,"

"So you think I should text him first?"

"I know you should. Start off plain, just be friends,"

"If, If Troy, if I ever text him first, which I doubt I will, I will let you know." I said.

Well here I am, with his number on my phone, staring back at me, where I said I wasn't going to be. Texting him first.

Troy gave me a go ahead, but I needed more approval to make sure I wasn't going to make a fool of myself. I texted another of my friends, who had zero idea who he was,

"That's some crazy shit. Wellz gladly you're taking my advice and shooting your shot,"

"He doesn't really know me, so I don't know what to say..."

"Okay okay, that's why you've got me, just text him, start with hey,"

I never thought I'd be here getting lectures about texting a guy, it was new to me and I was scared, what if he opened it, read it and never replied. I changed the photo on my dp just so he wouldn't know it was me, I was scared. 

I typed it. I pressed send. Sat there looking at my message, wishing to delete, few minutes and I didn't get a reply. I began to regret it, 

"He hasn't replied😭😭" i told him

"Chill out, you just texted him, drop your phone and do something else, don't delete that message. Watch a movie or something, he'll reply," he said like he just knew me already. What could I do? I use my phone for everything, movies, school, I couldn't help but feel anxious. I didn't like it, how I felt, made me feel weak, but for the first time I didn't care how it made me feel, I was only hoping for a reply that night, and if he didn't I would have simply deleted the number, felt worse but like I said, when it came to him, I expected the worse or nothing different. 

Thirty minutes passed on without a reply and I was rethinking it all, maybe if I'd kept my anxiety in check, I wouldn't be so bothered about one reply. 

Just then, in all of my regret, I saw a notification with his number on it. I squealed immediately, jumping up and down, 

"He replied 💃💃" I texted. 

"I told you that he would. What did he say?"

"Hey,"

"What do I say next?"

"Just introduce yourself to him, but don't reply immediately, just few more minutes then you send in your reply." 

With that  I texted my reply to him, and got a reply immediately. It was happening, I was finally talking to him, I was speaking to him!! The excitement I felt, I literally couldn't explain, and we talked for hours,  I tried the tactic Troy gave, brought up his baking, I literally thought we'd have nothing to say, I'd be at a loss of words and the chat will remain boring and all, but it was better than I imagined. Just then he asked me, 

"Do you watch anime?" 

Thankfully, I have a few weeb friends, and one very passionate weeb, I knee about anime, the first anime I watched was Naruto but I never finished it, but I wasn't really a fan of anime, I watched it when I wanted to pass time, but talking to him, he was a serious weeb, and funny enough, I didn't find it weird, I could say it's because I was crushing on him, but my ex back then, waa a football fanatic, I found that crazy, till today, I'd pick a video game player over football fanatic anytime any day, because I like to play video games, something I can do, something I have no issues, something I can relate to. 

I remember, our talks would be random stuffs but mostly anime, but I didn't mind. I was talking to him, and we'd talk for hours, I was okay with that, just talking was fine with me, as long as we were talking, and when we talked, it was like we'd known each other before then, like old friends reuniting. I started reading webtoons because of him, and now i like it, they're not habits that I loved just because he loved them, which was part of the reason though, but even if we stopped talking someday, I'd still carry on watching anime, for some reason I just love it.  With each passing day, when I just wanted to talk to him, I'd ask for anime suggestions, just so we could talk, I didn't want it to end, back then, if I was asked by anyone, why I liked him, my only answer would be because he's jaw dropping fine, he was to me. 

But as time went by, I began to see beyond the surface, and without knowing, that I was slowly losing the crush for him, and was beginning to like him deeply. 

"I want to go to the store this evening," I said randomly, 

"Same, how about we go together?" My phone dropped from mt hands, did he... I mean we're just going to the store, it's no big deal, 

"Yeah sure, just let me know when," It was like a dream, I'd be walking with Noah, by his side. I felt like I was dreaming, I needed a rude awakening, but all the same, I wasn't ready for it to end so soon, not yet, besides, it's just a crush, it'll die down soon. We were going to the store, getting all dressed up wasn't something I wanted to do but I wanted to at least try, but seeing him that day, I felt like I didn't put in any efforts at all. 

He was all dressed up, looking breathtaking, while I just looked like a plain Jane next to him. 

I was so nervous, I had nothing else to say to him, seemed like automatically the madness I was always displaying on the phone disappeared immediately we came face to face. I had never been so thankful for my phone at that moment, he seemed like he wasn't also interested in talking since he was using his phone, next to me, like I wasn't there. That was a massive ouch for me. 

And once again I never believed in embarrassing yourself in front of your crush, I felt so dumb at the store, I literally had no idea what I was doing there. I had one issue with the store we went to, their manner of arrangement and buying stuffs were too stressful for me to bother about it, I was always a regular at the store almost directly infront of my place, but since I met him, I had always been going there, just cuz he did. 

He helped carry my bags for me, and being the insane dumbass that I am, I have a special flare for veins on a guys' hands, I purposely slowed my pace just so I could admire it from afar. 

Getting back home, somehow I never imagined that I'd speak up. I was usually one to live on with assumptions in my heas and would never ask, because I felt I never had a right to. If anything, I wanted it to work out, deep down, but kept deceiving myself that it was a feeling that would pass by, like a passing cloud, just so I wouldn't get so attached, but upon all of my defence mechanisms, I still found myself getting more and more attached. 

I expressed myself to him, over the phone, through our chats, how I felt that day, and that's when I understood that communication is very necessary in every kind of relationship, assumptions only cause avoidable drama.  

I had no idea he felt the same way I did, having nothing to say and using our phones as an escape. But what got me the most was that he said he'd take note of it, for next time. Which means there'll be a next time. 

If this was all a dream, I'd prefer not to be woken up yet, I want to enjoy this seemingly beautiful short ride I have before it abruptly ends.