chapter 13

Why do we fall in love? How does it feel to be loved and to love? How does it feel when the person you love has his or her arms around you? How does it feel to be kissed in public? How does it feel that he or she shouted in the whole world his or her love for you? Why does it sound like heaven?

A pure bliss?

And I was seventeen. I was seventeen...

And I fell in love with this guy named Felix.

Felix. Felix was the kind of guy who would offer help to old people, to everyone who needed help. He was kind. And he was tall too. His strawberry blonde hair was neat and made him looked even more handsome. And I fell for him. Felix was the guy I dreamed of. My ideal man. And it was the moment he stepped inside in our classroom and introduced himself in front of us. Smiling as he did. And he sat down at the chair beside mine and smiled at me brightly. His smile pierced right through my heart. And I was smitten. So bad. I was in love. I was.

The first time he talked to me was when he asked me for a pen. It was November, three months after he took a seat beside me. I froze for a minute and he had to ask me again for it. I fumbled through my bag, flustered and embarrassed, until I found a spare.

'Here.' I looked down, cheeks tinted with pink. I could honestly feel my face heating from the attention I got from him. And then I handed the pen to him. He accepted it with his slightly rough hand that touched mine and smiled, showing his pearl white teeth.

'Thank you.' He said. 'Umm... can I ask for your number?' He asked after a few moments and smiled. Again. With those smiles of his, I could feel myself melt and my heart taken away from me again by him. I blushed and nodded. I wrote it down on a paper and gave to him. He winked as he accepted it.

'Great.' And my heart melted at that.

Three weeks after that. He asked me out on a date. With all spending time together and texting. I was waiting for this. And I was happy. I was happy that he asked.

So happy that I stuttered as I said, 'Yes.' He smiled and my heart jumped at that.

He took me out that night. Eating first at an expensive restaurant in town, where I made a fool out of myself for not knowing which proper utensils to use, and brought me to the place where he always go alone. It was an abandoned building at the beach. It used to be a hotel but closed down after years in business. We stayed on the rooftop watching the vast sea and the starry sky. Then there was a shooting star. I wished right away.

'What did you wish for?' Felix asked moments after. His eyes didn't turn away from the night sky.

'The thing I only want in my life.' I answered as I stared at his face.

'And that is...?'

You.

'And that is a secret.' He turned to look at me.

'Want to know mine?' I hummed and told him if he wanted to tell.

'You.' Then he smiled. And I smiled.

We both turned to look back at the night sky - while I was so happy with what he said. Our hands holding as we lied down on the floor. Enjoying every moments. It was perfect. It was perfect. And eventually he took me down by the shore. And walked on the wet sand as the salt waters kissed our feet. Hands holding. And enjoyed the walk by the shore.

That night. That night I fell for him even more. After many dates, meeting the parents - which caused me a nervous breakdown - and meeting the friends. He asked me out for the last time. Felix took me out on a fancy dinner and then took me to the shore like our first date. And there he asked me the words I wanted to hear from his mouth from the very moment I saw him enter our classroom.

'Will you be my boyfriend?' He asked smiling. I turned to him, mouth agape, and stared at him like he was joking or something. But I knew from the look on his eyes. I knew. I knew that he was serious. I was happy that he was. I was happy that he finally asked. Felix. I was happy that Felix asked me to finally be his.

'Yes.' I choked on my words as tears slowly fell down from my eyes. Felix wiped them out and placed his lips on mine. Underneath the starry sky. With the sound of waves as our song. And the moon as the witness. I said yes. I said yes and he kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. And he kissed me. He kissed me like there's no tomorrow. Like I was the only person he want to spend the rest of his life. And I did kiss him like he was also the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

And I fell for him again. And again. And again. I fell in love when I was seventeen. I fell in love with a guy named Felix. I fell in love with the guy who pierced my heart and soul. And I couldn't ask for more. Well, maybe for his kisses.

Oh. By the way, that was thirty years ago. Felix still made me feel like seventeen at our age - thirty seven. Like he did three days ago, he asked me to be his man again but this time not as his boyfriend. But as his husband. Now we're preparing for our second wedding. With our two sons and three daughters. Turns out he will be the man that I will love forever and ever.