chapter 4

"Uh… yeah. I think I'm gonna puke. Bye." I hung up. He loved me? There was no way he'd meant it. We were sophomores in high school for God's sake! I guess it was better than him being mad at me, though. The only problem was… I didn't love him, and I knew it. I didn't want to seem like a bitch, but I didn't want to lie about my feelings either. The one person that could give me advice, the one person that new Simon better than anyone, was the one person I hated more than anyone at the moment. I needed help, though, so I called him.

"This better be important," Jack growled, sounding slightly breathless. "I mean really important."

"Am I interrupting?"

"Yes!"

"Well… call me when you're… done."

"Yeah, okay, fine. Thanks for ruining the mood, cupcake."

"I'm sorry!"

He disconnected. I buried my face in my pillow. Why did I have such horrible timing? It wasn't really my fault though, it was probably hard to find a time when Brooke and Jack weren't going at it.

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I didn't remember falling asleep, but I felt a little better after the bit of rest. I answered the phone.

"Yeah?" My voice sounded gravely. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Hello?"

"It's Jack," he said. "Sorry about earlier. Brooke and I were hanging out."

"Mm-hmm."

"So what do you need?"

I wanted him to apologize for being such a dick to me last night, but I wouldn't ask for it. If he saw it fit to swallow his pride, he would. "I need to talk to you about Simom."

"Go for it," he murmured, but he didn't sound interested.

"Earlier on the phone… he told me he loved me."

"Ohhh shit," he drawled.

"Yep."

"What did you say?"

"That I was going to throw up."

"Well, aren't you the master romantic?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Jackson, I don't love him. I adore him, but I don't love him!"

"I know you don't."

"Do you think he really loves me? Or did it just kind of pop out?"

"I'm really not sure. Simon has been so all over the place lately. He's like a fucking girl, emotional little punk."

"I don't want to seem mean. Should I just tell him I love him?" I asked.

"No! Don't lie to him. Just tell him that… Jesus, I don't know. I'll talk to him."

"You can't!" I protested. "He'll think I'm a loser for telling you he said it."

"I'll just ask how he feels about you. I won't mention we talked. He gets off work in a few hours. I'll let you know. Anyway, I'm going to let you go. Oh, by the way…"

He was going to apologize, I just knew it. "Yeah?"

"Never try to have sex with broken ribs."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll keep that in mind."

After a moment, my father poked his head in.

"Hi pumpkin. Can I come in?"

"Sure Daddy," I said with a sigh. It didn't matter what my answer was, he was gonna come in anyway.

He crossed the room and sat in the chair beside the bed. "Your mother told me that you two had a fight a couple of evenings ago. Is that true?"

I shrugged. "It wasn't really a fight. I'm just sick of her treating me like a little kid."

"Sweetie, she's just afraid that you're going to grow up too fast... she doesn't want you to miss out on being a kid a little while longer."

That was complete bullshit and I knew it. The only reason she didn't want me growing up was because that meant she was getting old. "Okay, Dad."

"Just go easy on her, Sophie. It's not easy raising a teenager."

"Raising?" I scoffed before I could stop myself.

"Your mother has done her best," he said, giving me a stern look.

I'd been an accident. It wasn't as if mom was some scared teenager when she'd had me, she was 25 years old with a husband 10 years her senior that was making a ton of money. They hadn't wanted children, hadn't wanted to give up their partying ways. By the time I turned six, I was with a baby-sitter almost every single night.

"Yeah… okay. You're right… she deserves the Mother of the Year Award."

He sighed, exasperated.

"I'll be nicer to mom, okay?" I told him, just like I told him every other time we had this discussion.

"All right, Sophie," he replied. "Goodnight."

"Good night."

When Simon came to pick me up the next morning, something seemed off. He was quiet and distant.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" I asked, resting a hand on his thigh.

He shrugged, not taking his eyes off the road. "Just tired. I stayed up too late."

I knew that he was lying. He turned on the radio and cranked the volume.

"You're keeping something from me," I said, turning the music down.

"It's not a big deal, okay?"

"All right," I said gently. I wasn't going to drag it out of him; it would only upset him more. "But if you want totalk… I'm here, okay?"

He nodded, reaching out to brush his knuckles against my cheek.

At school, Simon walked me to my locker, but the minute he laid eyes on Caroline he went to talk to her, without even saying goodbye to me.

"Well that was nice," Ellie growled. "Do you trust him with her?"

I shrugged. "Not really."

"Well… tell him not to talk to her."

"Nah… it's okay. I'm going to go talk to Jack."

"Ooh, revenge?"

"It's not like that. I just have a question. I'm not going to make him cheat on Brooke, she deserves better."

"Well, I'm going to go look for Rola then. Have fun asking your question."

I went to the hallway where most of the seniors hung out. Jackson and Brooke were sitting ridiculously close to one another, each wearing one to the earphones to his iPod.

"Hey Jack?" I asked.

"Yo?"

"Can I borrow you?"

Brooke narrowed her eyes at me, wrapping her arm possessively around her boyfriend.

"I just wanna talk to him!" What was with everyone assuming I was after anything more than a conversation with Jackson?

Jack kissed her lightly. "I'll be right back, Brookey." He stuck the other earphone in her ear. "Pick a good song for us to listen to."

He got up and we walked down the hall a ways.

"What's up, cupcake?"

"Is something the matter with Sam?"

"How do ya mean?"

"He was really quiet this morning. He just seems upset."

He sighed heavily. "Well, you know what a momma's boy little Sammy is… this morning Mom told us that she found a lump… in her breast. He's just freaked out about it."

"Jack…" I began. "I'm so sorry."

He smiled slightly, but when I met his eyes I saw the fear. "Nothing's definite, you know? It could be nothing."