chapter 1

“We need to talk,” I told Hannah as we met in her favorite café.

I am now wondering if it was a good thing that I asked her to be here for our break up. I don’t want her having some ill thought about this café after this.

Hannah looked at me sternly as she sat in front of me. I have a feeling that she already knows what we’re going to talk about. 

Everything between us seems to have changed over the course of weeks. I know I’m not the only who noticed it. I know Hannah noticed it too.

I was different. I wasn’t usually the clingy type. I was losing interest.

Because I was already falling for someone else.

My attention was already directed to my wife. Everything I do seems to be for my wife.

Hannah took a deep breath. “Are you okay?” she asked.

I leaned my elbows on the table and gathered all the courage I have. I was about to end this before but I got surprised that Hannah endured things because she knew I was married from the start.

But right now, I am really going to do it. I am really going to end our relationship. I know it’s not going to be easy but I know it’s going to be for the best.

I inhaled and exhaled heavily. “I’m sorry…” I started.

Hannah’s jaw clenched. Her stare on me hardened. She didn’t speak because I bet that she knew where this thing is going to.

I tried my hardest to talk without choking but it’s incredibly hard. Hannah and I have shared so many happy moments together. For a long period of time, I have only loved her and no one else. She was the center of my life.

But right now, my feelings have changed.

This is all on me because I fell for some other woman. Hannah was just some collateral damage to a sin that I committed. She is definitely innocent. All the blame should be on me.

I swallowed and looked at her. I want her to see my sincerity. I want her to see that I am not telling her some kind of excuse.

“I am falling for my wife…” I trailed. I watched her expression go from nervous to forlorn. “For the past five months, I have found myself falling for her.”

I could see tears forming at the sides of Hannah’s eyes. Her lips are quivering but she doesn’t say anything.

I pursed my lips. “I have been feeling this for quite some time now but I don’t know how to break it to you.”

“Did you love her when you got married with her?” she asked in a small voice.

My eyes widened and shook my head. “No,” I said calmly.

She nodded. “Does she love you then?”

My heart constricted at her question. Does Eunice love me? I don’t know. But I’m sure as hell she’s attracted to me. I’m fucking sure that she has feelings for me.

But love?

I don’t know.

But my uncertainty is not going to stop me from doing this. I am willing to risk everything for Eunice. I hated seeing her cry. I hated seeing her hurt.

And above all, I loathed seeing her with some other guys. It makes me want to kill them all.

I have never felt this way. I have never ever been so possessive. I wasn’t with Hannah and we’ve been together for so long.

But with Eunice? Everything seems to be a first time. It’s as if I have no experience with girls. She’s so different.

And she makes me want to protect her so bad when she’s trying to be independent.

She seems so tough but I know that she still needed saving. And I want to be that one for her. I want to be her savior.

“I don’t know,” I replied to Hannah’s question.

She scoffed and looked up to stop her tears from falling. “You’re throwing me away for someone you aren’t even sure if she loves you.”

I shut my eyes. “Yes,” I said. “Because I don’t want to be unfair to you.”

Hannah looked at me in disbelief. “You don’t want to be unfair to me?” she asked as if my statement was so ridiculous.

I sighed and helplessly looked at her. I can’t help her for this.

She gave me a stern look. “Josiah, are you hearing yourself?” she asked. “If you didn’t want to be unfair to me, you should have told me you were married! I acted like a fool for you! I waited for you to tell me but you didn’t.”

She was sobbing as she trembled in anger. “Eunice Lee, right? That’s your wife’s name?”

I pursed my lips in a thin line and didn’t answer her. I don’t want to hurt her any further. Just the sight of her tears makes me feel like an awful person. Well, it’s not that I am not.

“Hannah, please…” I begged her to stop being hysterical even though I know she would act like this.

Her chest is rising and falling as she looked at me. She is fuming mad.

“This is not Eunice’s fault.”

She laughed at me sarcastically. “Yeah, right! Because it’s your fault, isn’t it?”

I stared at her. I don’t have the right to blame her for this.

“It is my fault…” I replied dejectedly.

She nodded but she was still mocking me. “I hope you’re not going to regret your decision.” She replied before standing up and leaving me alone in the café.

I watched her go. She left me.

It’s finally over.

I leaned on the back rest of the couch and sighed. It’s over, Josiah. It’s over.

That day flashed back in my head as my lips moved against Eunice’s soft lips. Hannah and I are over. Eunice is not dating that fucking asshole of a Kyle Kim.

We can try now. We can finally try it now.

I caressed her cheeks as I deepened the kiss. I bit her lower lip making her moan. Fuck it.

I can feel her hands gripping tightly on my shirt as I explored her cavern. I have never felt like this before. I have kissed so many times but I have never experienced this electrifying feeling.

I feel like I was living for this kiss. All the other kisses paled in comparison to Eunice’s kiss.

“I miss you so fucking much,” I murmured as I kissed her jaw, down to her neck.

I kissed the top of the bandage on her neck and suddenly, the angry feeling in me rose again. I’m certain she knows that I didn’t buy her reasons when I asked her where she got her wounds.

She fell? Damn. The best falling she could do if she would fall for me.

Eunice moaned as my hand moved to her boob.

“Fuck…” I cursed when I heard how erotic her moan is.

I covered her lips with mine once more and kissed her like it’s going to be the end of the world. My hand cupped her boob, making her moan over and over again.

“Josiah…” she moaned through the kiss.

I stopped kissing her for a moment and looked deeply in her eyes. “Baby, you’re driving me crazy…” I told her.

She bit her lip and I could curse all heavens when I saw her eyes filled with unadulterated lust.

“You can stop me, Eunice.” I assured her. “If you don’t like what I’m doing to you, you can stop me. We can stop…”

I was lying. I know I couldn’t stop but I don’t want her to think that I am rushing her into this.

She shook her head and smiled weakly. “No, Josiah. I like what you’re doing to me,” she replied as she made me lose my mind.