chapter 5

JULIANA'S POV

I shoved my clothes into my duffle bag quickly, knowing he'd be back soon. Shoving all my make up and money into my purse, I started packing Estella's clothes.

7:55. Crãp he'd be back in 5 minutes.

I grabbed a sleeping Estella in my arms and bolted from the front door. 

I sighed in relief as I began to walk away from my father's house. We were free, finally!

I didn't know where we would go, only that we had to get as far away from that hell hole as possible. Maybe I could stay at a friend house for a couple days, but then I remembered: I had no actual friends who'd be willing to help me

"Owww for fùck sake, who put that there" I heard a familiar voice groan. I turned around to see my father down the road, rubbing a bruise on his head after just walking into a lamppost.

Damnit! What was he doing back here so early. All I knew was that he couldn't catch me again. I still have bruises on my skin from last time.

I picked up my pace before I started jogging away. But, knowing my luck, I didn't do it without stumbling over and knocking down one of the trash cans.

"Juliana? What are you doing back there?" My father said as he saw me. He squinted his eyes go see me carrying Estella and multiple bags. It didn't take him long to realise that I was running away. And with that he began running towards me.

I didn't waist anytime and turned in my heels to sprint away from him. If he wasn't so drunk, he would've definitely caught up to me. This was the only time I was thankful for his alcohol addiction.

Estella stirred in her sleep at the sudden movement, but that didn't slow me down. I turned the corner and checked behind me to see if my father had caught up to me yet, but what I wasn't expecting was to bump into a rock hard wall.

Quite literally.

I rubbed the side of my head and winced at the pain. I stepped back to see a little bit of blood on the wall. Ouch.

"Are you okay? I just saw you walk into that wall" a voice said from behind me. Stunned by the presence behind me, I spun on my heels quickly, causing me to lose balance when a pair of big strong arms steadied me by wrapping themselves around my body.

Looking up, I lay my eyes on the most handsome man I had ever seen. His hair was a dark brown with curls that I was itching to run my fingers through. He had a sharp jawline with a light stubble over it, and full pink lips. He looked about 6'4, towering over my 5'3 frame. He had big, firm muscles that seemed to be bursting out of his tight suit. He was beautiful.

He studied me and his tongue reached out to lick his bottom him. My lips slightly parted at the sight of it.

"Are you okay?" he asked after what felt like ages. This caused me to snap out of whatever haze I was previously stuck in and I nodded quickly.

"Juliana!" I heard my father shout from behind me. Damnit! How could I get so distracted. I tried to escape the man's hold but he only tightened his grip on me.

As couple second later, my father emerged. Puffing loudly, he grabbed his inhaler from his pocket and breathed the air in like his life depended on it.

He grabbed my arm roughly, turning me so I was facing him.

"Where do you think your going you little bïtch?" He seethed. This was the angriest I had ever seen him.

I was about to apologise, tell him I'd go back with him and beg him not to hurt me, when the man ripped my father's arm off me and stood in front of me protectively.

"Leave." The man said in a deep voice. In case his appearance wasn't already intimidating enough, his voice definitely was.

'W-What?' My father stuttered, he had to raise his head to speak to the man since he was about a foot taller that him.

"I will only repeat myself once more. Leave before I make you", he threatened. My father didn't need to be told twice, before sprinting back in the opposite direction, stumbling a little as he tripped over his feet.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do that for us" I shyly smiled up to him.

"It was nothing, where are you heading? I could give you a lift." He said nodding towards his expensive looking car.

Should I lie? I was slightly embarrassed to admit that I had no where to go and I didn't even know who this man was, I didn't want his to feel obliged to help us

"We're staying at a friend's house" I replied, subconsciously tucking a curl behind my ear- a bad habit I tend to do when I'm lying.

"Are you sure?" He frowned, almost as if he knew I was lying

"Yes, thanks for you help but we should be going now" Gosh! I sounded like such a bïtch. I tried to walk away but he lightly grabbed my wrist.

"Here's my number, call me if u need any help in the future" He gave me his business card and I apprehensively placed it in my pocket, knowing I'd have to much pride than to call him.

"I mean it, don't hesitate to call me, okay?" He added.

I nodded and began to walk away. I heard him walk away, get into his car and drive away. I released a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"I'm cold, Jay" Estella mumbled, waking up from her sleep. I smiled at her nickname for me as she still couldn't pronounce my full name properly. I pulled out one of my sweaters from my bag and wrapped it around her.

"I know baby, but we're going now" I reassured her deciding to walk to the nearest motel. It was about a 45 minute walk but we had nowhere else to go since a hotel was out of budget.

Arriving, I looked up in distaste. The parts of the building were falling apart and the paint was peeling off the walls. It was hardly safe but it was the only place I could afford at the moment. We paid for a couple nights and made our way up to our room when Estella said she was hungry.

Ordering some pasta to eat, I scrunched up my nose when it finally arrived. The smell of the sauce was awful and the pasta was stone cold and they tried to (not so cleverly) hide some mould with the sauce. I nibbled some and had to spit it out straight away.

I searched through my bag finding two chocolate bars that I packed earlier on. I gave them both to Estella knowing how hungry she was.

"What about you, Jay?" She asked, seeing that I had nothing to eat.

"It's okay, I ate before we left. And there are some more invade I get hungry." I lied. My stomache quietly rumbled, knowing it hasn't been fed since yesterday lunch, curtesy of my father's punishment for me for refusing to by him some cigarettes with the little money we had left.

I put Estella to sleep and wrapped her up in extra clothes to keep her warm. 

I slid down the wall, sitting on the floor as I took deep breathes. I lightly banged my forehead on my knees as I recalled what I witnessed yesterday.

I went up to Estella's room to check up on her after dad said he wanted to put her to bed. I frowned when I heard her muffled cries as I came up the stairs. My jaw dropped as I saw my father with a pillow suffocating Estella as she cried.

"I said stop fucking crying you fucking bitch" he sneered.

"Dad!" I yelled. He quickly let go and menacingly walked towards me

"Get that bitch to shut up before I make her" he said with a threatening tone before waking off.

Tears threatened to escape my eyes. I had done the one this I sworn never to let happen. I had let Estella down, I didn't protect her like I said I would.

Sure my father has hit me plenty of times but I had never imagined for him to do it to Estella. I had stayed strong over the years of abuse. I couldn't even remember the last time I had cried but I guess it was all coming out tonight. I covered my mouth, not wanting to make a sound and wake Estella up as I let out a silent sob.

My phone buzzed grabbing my attention. 

Text message from Nicky

Hey, I know it's late and we haven't spoken in ages but happy birthday xx

I checked the date: June 5th. I hadn't even realised.

Receiving that message from my high school best friend bought more tears to my eyes as I recalled how she ditched me for the popular girls and helped with their endless torture to me. A year later, they kicked her out of their friendship group over something petty and she came running back to me claiming how sorry she was for leaving.

That night, I didn't just cry for Estella, I cried for the girl who just wanted to be loved, for the girl who woke up every morning wishing she didn't, I cried for the girl who talked others out of suicide but had a hard time doing it for herself. For once, I cried for me.

I sat there for the whole night curled up in a ball painfully sobbing but not a sound came out because I didn't want anyone to see how broken and hurt I truly was. 

If this is going to be how my life is going to be then I don't want it anymore. But Happy Birthday to me... I guess.

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