Devastation 33

Cassie POV

My head was pounding the moment I woke up. We were at Jake's apartment. After Nicholai left Gabby insisted that I go with her. So here, I am lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

Shit... I should have not drink that much. Maybe he would have spent time with me.

I know, I sound pathetic. I remember every single thing I said and did last night. I was drunk yes but I remember everything. I never acted that way before in my life.

How the hell can I face everyone again? Shit, I was rejected.

It was already lunch time when I decided to get out the room. I saw everyone eating at the dining hall.

"Hi!" I honestly don't know what to tell them. I mean I was turned down after I confessed I like someone.

"Hey, join us, best. Are you okay?" Gabby asked.

"Nope, I feel like shit." I replied.

"That's what you get when you decided to drink like there's no more tomorrow." Cole said laughing.

"Whatever, I need to go. I think I need to head back to L.A. going back here seems like crazy idea. Shit." I stated.

Why do I have to make a fool out of myself?

Why the hell did he reject me?

"It's crazy so you want to bail out again. What’s the plan, you’re going to disappear and hope everything will be okay when you decided to return." Gabby stated annoyingly at me. “Grow up Cassie.”

"Sorry. I mean I feel so stupid with what I did last night. What will I do if I see him again? I mean I really like him but he rejected me." I blurted out.

"Well, you don't have to worry about Nicholai, his gone." Cole said.

"What do you mean his gone?" I panicked.

He can't leave.

I just got back and now his gone.

"He left. He has this business conference that he needs to go to." Jake said. "You see my dear, my friend can be a jerk sometimes but he didn't actually reject you his just busy."

Thank goodness. I thought I drove him away.

"Busy my ass. He could have told me." I complained then I grab a plate so I can eat lunch with them. "I mean, what I did was out of the line but he could have just said he needs to go somewhere so he can't stay with me. I felt so rejected."

"Babe, you’re not his girlfriend. He doesn't owe you an explanation.” Matt laughed at me. "Stop acting like you have the right because you are starting to sound like a pathetic bitch. You’re not the crazy clingy girlfriend."

"Ouch. That fucking hurt." I pouted.

"Then fix yourself. I didn't help you to be editor to act like a pathetic love struck loser. That was so damn low." Matt stated pissed at me. "You don't step down begging for sex from anyone. Do you realize that you are a very good catch? Babe, man should be begging to catch your attention. Not the other way around. You’re not some chick that has to beg just to be fuck."

"I know." I admitted defeatedly. "I guess it was the alcohol that made me lose my sense."

And besides his not just any man, he makes me lose my sanity.

I wouldn’t mind begging for his attention.

"Yes, blame the alcohol for your slutty assault to Nick. We've been friends for so long I never realized you can be so aggressive, best." Gabby exclaimed.

"I still can't forget how he looked like. I mean I've known him since we were kids and that was the first time I saw him trying so hard to be in control. You had him bad." Jake stated.

"I didn't know he had it in him. He never turned down anyone before." Cole added.

Well I guess I haven’t reached his standards then.

They all started laughing and eventually I joined them. There was no reason for me to be upset of something I did on purpose. I just can’t believe that I ended up looking so damn desperate in front of my friends. I mean, I know I am desperate to have him kiss me and touch me or even just look at me. I am so fucking hopeless. Why can’t I get over him? 

It has been two weeks since my desperate move in seducing Nicholai. I was settling fine in my new apartment and working at our office branch here in New York. I tried to focus on my work. I haven’t had a chance to encounter Nicholai again. I meet up with our friends regularly but never once have are paths crossed. He was so close to me yet so hard to reach.

“Hey, guys.” I arrived at Jake’s and Gabby’s place. “So what’s our agenda for today?”

“We are going sky diving.” Jake replied excited.

“I don’t think I want to do that.” I stated.

“Don’t worry it’s going to be fun. You can jump with a professional and you’re going to love it. It’s so much fun.” Gabby stated.

“Nicholai just bailed out on us again. I can’t believe this. He said he has an important business to attend to. He has been so preoccupied lately. It’s not like his company would be in the verge of bankruptcy if he missed one meeting.” Cole stated upset after getting off from a call with Nicholai.

“He is just a responsible person unlike you. I mean, you are always just out there to have fun. You don’t even have a regular job.” Gabby teased him.

“I don’t need one. Besides, I have the best managers managing the family business. I don’t want to get on their way.” Cole replied dismissively.

“You still haven’t changed. When would you start taking responsibility?” I stated as we all get on the car.

“Listen, I’m a responsible person. I just can’t find what I want to do yet.” Cole stated. “I have all the money in the world to enjoy so that’s what I’m doing while trying to figure out what to do with my life.”

Sky diving was really fun. At first, it was very scary but once I felt the wind on my face while falling down in the sky I was able to relax and enjoy the view. I had to jump with a professional but Gabby, Cole and Jake was able to do it on their own.

“That was so much fun.” I exclaimed after our third time to jump off.

“I told you. It’s going to be fun.” Gabby stated. “We should head back though Nicholai texted and wants to meet up for dinner.”

“Dinner?” I asked.

“Yes, he said he felt sorry that he wasn’t able to join us and would make it up by treating us dinner.” Gabby stated.

“Shit, I can’t make it. I have this dinner with Matt and some associate.” I realized.

“Can’t you cancel? I believe that you’ve been looking forward with your next encounter with Nicholai.” Gabby teased.

“I can’t, business first before pleasure.” I stated.

I can’t really bail out on Matt. Or can I?

It has been that way for the next days. We never had a chance to cross paths. Work has been really busy. It helped me put my mind off Nicholai. My obsession really needs to stop.

I was busy checking some photos from other magazines when I came across photo online. It was Nicholai and some model named Francesca De Luca and the headline read:

BILLIONAIRE AND HEIRESS CAUGHT IN THE ACT; when will they tie the knot?

I felt strange. I felt jealous. I guess this clarify why he left. He was in love with someone else and was going to spend time with her. We'll I should move on from my stupid crush. And I know just how. I'll start dating again. I looked at the charity invitation that was sent to me. This got to be the answer to my problem. I can't let my love life be on hold forever if I can't have him. I already wasted three years rejecting the guys who wanted to date me. I was always looking for flaws. And Nicholai was the main reason. I wanted him but now that his taken I might as well move on from my fantasy.