chapter 3

I wanted to submit; to ease and put an end for once and for all to the severe physical suffering of the experience of absolute pain and torment that was driving everyone to endless madness, including myself.  But I couldn't, because I didn't know how. And, in order to enlighten my dim lighted ignorance, neither could I ask out loud the creature whose fatal grip was never loosening up on my body, and whose arms were still holding me in a tight sinister, deadly embrace; because its hand was still on my mouth trapping my unsaid words, questions and pleas deep down my throat.

I was in a state of utter hopelessness, and I did not know what to do to get out of it. But did I have the nerve to dare hope only for a change? To hope that somehow these feelings of sorrow and gloominess circling about me in disdain were to be lifted off my chest? That the gods dwelling above in the skies, at last, found the heart to sympathize- or rather pity the misfortunate situation that I unwillingly was put in? Dare I really hope if only for a mere moment that a miracle was to see me through and drag us out from this red-hot, scorching, handmade hell? Was this a chance given by the gods for me to redeem myself in my last moments? To die knowing sure enough that the people I have wronged were to be righted for their own good? Or was it just the last joke hurled at me from the universe as a closure for its mockery that always had full promise of sickening enthusiasm in my life that would constantly let me rise up my hopes only to let them be crashed and squashed at the end under the feet of my own ghoulish fate- or in this case, to let me end up dead as the villain of the town and be forever hated by the those I loved the most for something I had no intention of causing.

Despite all my bitter thoughts and rather sharp reasoning, I thought: even though my life never mattered, anyhow, I was more than willing to give up my heart, soul and life in order to save the people that I loved and cared for. If this was a chance for me to mend all my faults ever since the accident, I was more than ready to undertake the task even though I might lose my life in the process of the series of actions and steps that I ought to take in order to achieve that one particular end that would be full of sweet, self-earned redemption.

However, I had a rather bad feeling thudding within me that I couldn't shake away. I was unable to bring myself to believe that I was to be provided with a second sacred chance from the body above mine, because all I could hear was the harsh voice of my reason that was telling me not to submit but to fight back, to never retreat no matter what. It was a rather sickening and a repulsive feeling to be honest, but what if my reason itself was ruled by my curse as well? Nevertheless, I could not help but wonder if the body that struck an ominous reminder of death and whose rotten hands were suffocating me still really had our sake at heart. And if so, why was it lacking the kind and sense of holiness, if it were really sent from the skies for a good cause, why was acting like a horrid devil? Although, indeed, it had a voice of a sweet female, I couldn't address it thus, for it had an air of it that seemed to scream of unholiness as though the whispers it murmured in a low and indistinct voice near my ear had a promise of shame and vendetta. Who were they those 'though dead a long time ago shall be forgiven' ? Was I to relent for the faults of the dead that I had no acquaintance with whatsoever, or was I to relent for the people my treacherous spell turned against instead of helping them? All I wished for on this moment was for the end -my end- to come as soon as possible, for I could not take it any longer; I was losing my breath, my mind and my reason all at once.

The ground underneath started to move hard as I felt a rush of a light breeze run through my veins, waking up my whole body from its ablaze slumber and making my core rock and shift in affirming sorrow in inhuman speed.

Finally able to push them open, my eyes as well as my mind both started to race around through  details that had emerged out of nowhere around the woods, trying so hard to glimpse sight of the girls whose screams had subsided a while ago. However, what stole the centre intention of my eyes was the change is the sky.

Everything seemed to have risen from the dead.

The seventh raven black sky was finding a way to shake the twinkling stars off of its surface as though a burden it shook off its lazy shoulders , or an old garment that was no longer in fashion and so it decided to cast it off as a second unwanted skin. Instead, however, it put on a shiny, holy and newly polished ornament of its very own, or for that matter a garment, anyhow, all in all it was blinding my eyes from its thriving light, giving the whole place a new polish to admire.

Light staring all around in a blazing glare, I felt the body above me flinch in nervousness as though a growing tension was taking over it. No longer trying to convince me to retreat and hand over my 'power' by sending rotten smelling whispers that sent shivers running down my back to my ear, the corpse above me still slapping its hand of death against my mouth took off the hand that was suffocating me off my neck, and instead replaced it on my eyes as though demanding of me not to see what was about to happen next, or worse not to see its face.

No longer having morbid hands on my neck driving the life out of me and blocking air from going into my lungs, I was grateful for the ability to breathe once again. Nevertheless, I decided not to fight the body that was holding me still in one place up in the sky till I completely managed to let enough amount of air to enter through my nose into my lungs, and up unto my mind before I allowed myself to start thinking of a way to pull it off of me, push hard against it, and cripple it just like how it was crippling me right now, and demand of it the answers about the long dead people it was talking about and their unforgiven deeds that shall be forgiven if I were to hand over my curse; but first and foremost to demand an answer on what had accrued to the girls that had set the bonfire before my hellish arrival. And if it were of any help, I'd even beg of it to answer my question on whether or not the spell I casted was at fault, and have I in anyway angered any of the gods, The Mother, the creatures of the woods or anyone that was torturing me such like this.

Having had enough air entered my system, right  this moment, I had no intention whatsoever to waste any more time before I started struggling hard against the morbid creature that was taking refuge above me, making me ache in pain as it twisted and turned. Something - maybe the source of the blinding light- was causing it to flinch as an instinctive reaction to fear, pain, or surprise; and thus its tight embrace around me started to flatter and loosen up a bit; as though now  it longer needed,  sought for or wanted my powers but just yearned disappear and  cease to be visible all at once, at a fast speed, and rapidly just how it emerged on the first place but making sure going without giving away or handing  over hints of its truthful identity. Whatever that was.

 Suddenly, the wind picked up from the scorching heat of my my body to icy, sweet coldness. A wave of crisp air that was oddly and refreshingly cool kissed the once hot surface of my round face, and I sighed in relief, thanking the sky above for answering my prayers and subsiding my fire.

Against the wet skin on the back of my neck, I lived on the beautiful sensation of the feeling of ice against my flesh and stopped kicking against the corpse right when a horrid shriek made its way out of whatever creature that was above my body and that was not yet letting go of the hands that was still on my eyes and my mouth.

I trembled as a leaf against the weight of its body as a feeling of change broke through the thin air that had changed its color of the weather constantly since I entered this godforsaken woods. Losing all connection of what was logical and what was real, I gasped for my lost breath when, finally, The hands were gone, the wight of the corpse vanished, and I was let go of.

A soft panting sound drifted towards me, and the bushes swayed in one sudden movement.

A punch of light pierced my navel as hard as a cannonball, sending me in one very harsh movement flying through the cold air, across the grass, and right straight unto the heart of the earth as the ground parted in two and swallowed me into its stomach of dirt; thus reminding me of moses and his clan and on how God parted the sea for them and for their safety.

I was gasping for air as the pungent odor of fresh grass that was blended with the scnt of the dusty red dirt ran trhough my nostrils and laid heavily on the crisp night air, circling around me in a protective aura. Despite feeling very cold, I never felt more peaceful and at ease before.

Coming back to my sences, I opened my eyes very quickly and raised my eyesight toward the small hole of the grave I was in. A cold breeze of welcome drifted to me from the shadowy place he was standing in, never letting go of my stare. Under other circumstances, I might have stopped looking at those starry, startling very blue eyes, but this time I didn't have the time or inclination to think of modesty or vanity. To hell with them all, I could stare at them all night and sink in the signals of comfort they were sending to me.

Once agein, and ever so suddenly: the tall tree branches put on an icy white coat and were swinging back and forth brushing lightlly the curve of his wide shoulders. I called out for him for help, but my own voice as though underwater, distorted, and ever so slow and lonely, it echoed back upon me, and he was still standing static watching me in bewilderment as though still alarmed from the hard plung I had taken from the sky into the open hole on the grassy earth.

A few moments came and went, and we were still looking at each other. Feeling rather awkward and- for no reason- embarrassed and rather cold, I lifted my arms from my sides and wrapped them around my bosom. The bare flesh of my upper body connecting with the skin of my arms made me flinc in horor; my dress was all tattred and I was laying on the ground, with the beautiful startnger's eyes on me, utterly and completely naked like a newborn.

He turned away with a playful smirk planted on his face, and started looking around the woods. I felt my cheeks burnning in shame despite the cold that was drifting all over me, knocking breath out of me.

Emerging back in the dark view, his eyes bored into mine as he extanded his two hands before him and I clenched the dirt at my feet with my toes as he effoertlessly made a rope made out of glassy, amorphous ice.

He was trying to help me, or as far as I knew: he was trying to get me out of this hole.

Despite my yearning to trust him, he looked alarmingly wide and strong unlike my slight body and that made me fear him. It was the lessons of betrayl that the fatality of faith had taught me during my life.

Thinking that I had nothing left to lose now, I relented to him and held on the rope of ice.