chapter 62

I rubbed my stomach. I try not to stress because it will affect my fetus. Yes, I should be grateful for the pregnancy I have been waiting for, but it complicates the situation. It would be a lie if I said I was fine. The problem is, I don’t know the father of my baby. Harvey? Or Sean?

“Angel.”

I found a woman who 3 days ago I was worried about childbirth. Yes, he is Renata. The nurse handed Renata to me, who was sitting in the garden area of the hospital.

“Hey, Renata,” I said, glad that I finally had someone I could talk to. “How are you and your baby?”

“We’re good, thanks to you,” Renata answered. “Thank you for praying for us and being there when no one else is around. I appreciate it.”

“I did nothing. I just waited, then fell asleep.”

We laughed together.

My memories go back to Sean. I was with Sean waiting for Renata for 5 hours, and Sean who helped a lot. She took care of me and comforted me when I almost gave up on not having a baby. My wish has come true, but unfortunately, that wish also keeps us away from each other.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Renata’s question made me shake my head. “You’re crying, Angel. If you don’t mind, you can tell me.”

“Is this what a pregnant woman’s hormones feel like? I get emotional easily.”

“Gosh, are you pregnant? I’m so happy!” Renata spoke with an enthusiasm that made me entertained. “When I was pregnant, I often cried for no reason. I had imagined my life would get more difficult because I was a single parent and I didn’t have anyone. But after hearing Yasmin’s cry for the first time, I was wrong. Yasmin gave me strength.”

"You're a great woman, Renata." I praise her.

“No, I’m not. My Yasmin is a great one. She is the reason I survived.” It hypnotized me how she kept encouraging me. If Renata can get through this hardship, then I can. I have Harvey, which is my long happiness. “Is this your and Sean’s first child?”

“Yes, I’m nervous.” My smile fades. Wait, something seems wrong. “Sean? Do you know him?”

Renata looked confused at my reaction before speaking again. “This morning a man came to my room. He told me you were waiting while I was giving birth. He is your husband, right?”

From the start, I should have realized that something was wrong with Renata’s words. She knows my name, also she knows I was waiting for the birth process. We’ve never met before. Now it all made sense because of Sean.

When I turned around, I found a man standing at the door of the hospital garden. Our eyes met. After our fight in which I hurt him, he’s still here to watch over me. I bit my lip while trying to pretend I didn’t see him. Before that happened, Sean did it first. The girl named Jessie was beside him, and they were kissing.

---

Suki watched me eat lunch for the last 10 minutes. My gaze alternated between her face and the bowl of corn soup from the table placed on the bed. Half an hour ago, I contacted Suki about my pregnancy. Of course, I did it after Sean returned my phone via Renata. Sean seemed like wouldn’t bother me anymore, and I was grateful.

“It’s not like you,” muttered Suki. Her face looks at me closely. “Yes, you are not Angel Ludwig.”

I chuckled. “I’m still the same person. I’m your best friend Angel who likes to write novels.”

“You’re pregnant, Angel. You’ve been looking forward to this pregnancy since you two got married. But your reaction shows you are being treated for regular headaches.”

“I’m happy. Do I have to jump first?” My jokes, I did not respond to the weirdness she felt.

“You’re hiding something from me, right?”

“Nothing, Suki,” I answer quickly to her question, which leads to more urgency. Playing with my spoon again, I ignored Suki’s annoyed face. I don’t want her to suspect anything, including about Sean.

"Do you know why I ask that?" Said Suki and I pretended to be deaf. I even insisted on eating my food to look busy. "I'm sorry to say this, Angel. You don't look happy at all."

Suki’s words offended me. How could I not be happy when I’m going to be a mother? I’m happy! It’s just that being happy isn’t a dominating feeling. There is a sadness difficult for me to express. It didn’t take long for Suki to hug me. She had repeatedly warned me to stay away from Sean. Unfortunately, I always fell for Sean’s charm until I ended up miserable.

“You’re going to be a splendid mother, Angel. I’m sure. You just go through everything as usual.” Suki saw my silence as my fear of becoming a mother. I hugged Suki back and her hug always gave me peace.

“I am pregnant.” My sobs. If Suki knew that I was a cheating woman, would she still admit me as a friend?

“I know and I’m happy about it. Then what makes you sad? Is Harvey not ready?”

“I’m pregnant, Suki,” I repeat. “I don’t know the father of my baby.”

“What are you talking about?” She let go of our arms, looking for the lies in my eyes.

“You’re a terrible liar. Of course, Harvey. Couldn’t be another man, couldn’t be Sean.” Then Suki fell silent, realizing that the worst possibility might happen. Sean took me away from her party one year ago in anger, which Suki thought wasn’t normal. “No. Your pregnancy has nothing to do with Sean. You guys even hated each other since college.”

“We betrayed Harvey. Sean and I were having an affair.” Suki didn't look surprised, but she kept her mouth shut. Has Suki known since a long time ago about my affair with Sean? Could it be that she linked one suspicion to another until finally, I admit this affair? “But now we’re over. We’ve stopped seeing each other.” I keep trying to defend myself.

Suki is a victim from the past. Suki's father cheated on her mother when she was a child. Suki and her mother lived in chaos and misery for a long time. She hates about the affair.

“I’ve always admired you, but this time I’m disappointed. Never contact me again.”