chapter 6

Chapter 18

Ella's POV:

The hours pass as Declan and I lay in the sunflower field waiting for the sun to descend. He said he wanted to stay till sunset because he wanted me to see it, so that's what we did. If it was spending time with him then it didn't matter what we did.

His big hand is still interlaced with my smaller one, his thumb rubbing tender circles on my skin.

I've missed him these last few days, does that make me crazy? Three days without seeing him seemed like a long time. I want to know the reason why the real reason as to why he hasn't been attending school but I'm too chicken to ask. If he wanted me to know me he would've told me.

As I think about him, my thoughts wander to when he first arrived at my house. Oh-my-gosh how did I forget about that bruise under his left eye?

"Declan what happened to your eye?" I suddenly blurt out.

He slowly turns to face me. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice." He mutters, sucking in some air.

I glance over at him and his whole demeanor has changed. He sits up, his shoulders now slumped, and his eyes stare straight ahead. His forest eyes glaze with simmered anger, a miserable look from what I can tell.

Confusion settles on my face.

"My father and I had a disagreement."

Immediately I sit up as the words process in my brain. Did I hear him right? Was he telling me his father hit him? What kind of parent would leave a mark like that on their child? Am I interpreting this right?

Lifting my hand, I gently touch the blue bruise under his eye, careful not to hurt him.

"W-what." I quiver, tears pricking my eyes.

No wonder Declan doesn't talk about his father. Nobody deserves to be hit hard enough to leave a mark on them from their parents or anyone. What about the scars on his chest? Are those an accident or were they there on purpose?

"Don't cry Ellie," He murmurs. "It's not your fault."

I shake my head and he pulls me to his side. I take my arms and hold him in a tight embrace.

"How long?" I whisper. I need to know how long this has been going on. Is this why he lives alone? Does anybody else know about this?

Declan doesn't look at me, his eyes stay straight on the field ahead, his jaw tight with tension. That's enough for me to know that this hasn't just been recent, it's been happening his whole life. My heart breaks at this new information, the ache prominent in my chest. He must have gotten hit in these last few days and I didn't even know.

Under that pent up anger on his face, I see the vulnerability, I see the hurt and I can't help but squeeze him tighter. He's always confident, happy even but this, this is a whole new side of him, one that I'm discovering for the first time.

He's always the one comforting me, not the other way around.

A slight fury blisters in my blood, boiling like hot water on a stove. The thought of someone laying a hand on Declan makes me livid.

"Nobody knows," He says. "Only Wes and now you."

"I won't tell anyone I promise."

He looks down at me and I don't know what it is but something is different in his green orbs. His thumbs reach up and wipe the moisture away from under my eyes.

As I hug Declan tightly not wanting to let him go, I can feel the strain of his rigid muscles.

I put my hand along his face and trace the sharp line of his jaw, my heart hurting terribly for him. I don't even know what to say so I stay quiet, there really is nothing to say.

Declan pulls me up between his legs surprising me but then I lean my back against his chest, my head resting above his rapidly beating heart. The sound is extraordinary. He has his arms around my waist, his hands resting on my lower stomach, and his fingers tracing the skin of my naval where my shirt has risen a tiny bit.

Declan kisses my forehead causing my stomach to dance in delight. "You're amazing, you know that?"

My head tilts up, my eyes finding his. I kiss his cheek without thinking and when I do my a blush dapples my cheeks. "You're inspiring, you know that?"

His lips quirk. "Yeah, how?"

I think for a minute trying to find the right words to say. There is so much to him and he doesn't even know it.

"Your strength, your confidence, and your kindness is kind of incredible," I whisper feeling shy. All these traits are what make him so beautiful, he expresses himself in a way that's open, a way that I, myself can't.

He doesn't say anything and he doesn't have to, just the way he pulls me closer is enough to express how he feels without words. Sitting here with him somehow feels right, we kind of joint together in a way that seems kind of perfect.

Seeing the light fade and the abundant colors take over the sky is breathtaking. Declan was right, the sky is all different shades of oranges and pinks and yellows and purples. It was absolutely aesthetic.

As the colors fade and night breaks into the sky, Declan and I leave. As soon as we sit in his car and begin to drive, Declan's hand out of nowhere plants itself on my thigh and stays there.

My eyes widen at the gesture as I peer over at him. A look of content covers his features. Our eyes meet and the corners of his soft lips curve. "Something bothering you?" He asks, innocent amusement definitely hinted in his voice.

I look away quickly knowing my face is flushed crimson and mutter. "N-no."

The rest of the car ride home is quiet, I keep my eyes out the window watching the outside as it blurs by. All kinds of thoughts run through my brain and it doesn't help that Declan's hand is on my thigh, it's making me hot.

He's all I can think about, he told me things about him that almost nobody knows. Things I would have never guessed because he hides it so well.

*

As we pull into my bumpy driveway a feeling of dread sits in my chest. I don't want to go and I don't want him to leave. Willing myself out of the car, I tell him thank you and then head up to my house. When I get inside, I get ready to run upstairs just when my mom stops me.

"Ella Mae Emerson," She says, her lips curving up. "Where have you been?"

Halting where I am, I turn towards her. "Out with Declan," I mumble, heat crawling to my always flushed cheeks.

I wanted to be alone right now so I can sort everything that's happened out. I wanted to think about how Declan kissed my forehead, I wanted to think about the scars that I saw on his chest the day at the lake, and I wanted to think about that bruise.

She tilts her head. "Your boyfriend?" She questions. "Is that why you haven't been to school? I got a call about your recently missed absences."

She gestures for me to sit down at the table, so I do casually even though I don't want to.

"He's not my boyfriend," I say slowly. "And I can't go to school without breaking down."

Why would she think Declan's my boyfriend? I'm pretty sure he doesn't see me that way but a part of me wishes that he did.

She raises an eyebrow. "You aren't fooling me, Ella. I see the way you look at him."

"And how is that mom?" I counter sharply. I look at Declan just the way I look at everyone else, so I have no clue what she's talking or inquiring about.

"Like you love him," She states, voice clear as day. "like he's your whole world."

Breaking our eye contact, I look down at the table replaying her words in my head. Those words were not what I expected, they have an instant heat crawling into my body and my hands moistening. Is that true? Do I look at him that way, do I feel that way? Is it obvious?

In the back of my mind, I know my mom's right.

I'm in love with the boy who captures my anxiety and throws it out the window. I'm in love with the boy who paints my smile and colors my cheeks. I'm in love with the boy who wipes my tears and holds me close. I'm in love with the boy who doesn't try to fix me, the boy who understands.

I'm in love with the boy whose name is Declan Anderson, the boy who is my rock.

And what if he doesn't feel the same way?

"I don't love him," I say so quietly I don't even know if she can hear. "I'm in love with him." My eyes lift to hers and we look at each other.

My mom smiles. "I know." She says softly, standing up and kissing my forehead. "Because that's the way I looked at your father." She then pats my back and walks into the living room.

I sit at the table staring at the wall.

How am I supposed to act around him now? I can't just tell him. What if he doesn't feel the same way? He already makes me nervous as is and now I'm afraid to see him, to talk to him.

*

Feeling my bed dip down wakes me up. I rub my eyes in a haze of sleepiness then open them. In the dark, I make out the silhouette of a person. I squint realizing it's Declan, he's hovering over me with his lips quirked up.

I sit up completely surprised. What is he doing here? It's late he should be home sleeping.

"Morning Lil' one." His voice comes out in a low rasp.

"What are you doing here," I mutter, my throat dry.

He smiles, amused. "We have school, did you forget?"

My eyes widen, school. I forgot to set my alarm. After everything that happened yesterday I totally forgot, it didn't even cross my mind. Putting my hand on my head I blow out an annoyed breath.

"I don't want to go," I whine quietly.

"Then we won't." He says simply, just like that.

We both have already missed so much school, why not tack on another day?

Memories from yesterday suddenly come back to me. My mom and me at the table, her asking me questions. Then me saying...I...I love him. How am I supposed to act normal around him now?

He kicks his shoes off and slides into my bed putting his arms behind his head, his feet crossing. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I just have to act like I always do and everything will be fine.

"Are you okay Ellie?" Declan questions.

Silently I nod my head telling him yes. If I tell myself everything's okay then just maybe it will be, or at least I hope so. Getting out my remote, I turn on the Tv and flick through the channels picking a random one.

Just keep your eyes straight, don't look at him.

Who am I kidding? I probably look like a fudging statue.

It doesn't help that I can feel his gaze on me either.

One minute I'm staring at the Tv with unblinking eyes, the next I'm being pinned down on the bed with Declan's eyes burning holes into my face. My attempts to get up fail miserably. "What's wrong?" He says scanning every inch of my face.

"N-nothing." I stutter.

Anger takes over his features. "Ella tell me." He grits out.

I blink a couple of times trying to think of what to say. I can't tell him and I know that he's mad because he used my actual name. "I-I can't," I say tears brimming my eyes, an overwhelming feeling sitting heavy in my chest.

What am I supposed to do?

"Did somebody hurt you?" He questions in an almost growl.

I instantly shake my head no, why would he think that? Ugly fat tears begin to drip out of my eyes down my face. Why am I such a baby? Why can't I ever hold my stupid tears in? I squeeze my eyes shut not wanting him to see me like this.

In an instant, he's off of me and pulling me into his lap. "Shh, I'm sorry." He coos, his tone softening.

I tuck my head into his chest and his hands rub my arms trying to comfort me. "I want to tell you but I'm scared," I mumble in an almost whisper.

"Ella you can tell me anything." He tells me, both honestly and an intense seriousness in his voice.

I hug my arms around him. "I know, but this is different," I say quietly as my heart pounds loud in my chest echoing in my ears. Do I tell him? Do I tell him how my heart feels? I don't want him to think it's anything bad.

What will he think?

"Different how?" He murmurs.

More tears fall from my tear-filled eyes. I'm so scared, I want to tell him but at the same time I don't because what if he doesn't feel the same?

"B-because I l-lo-love you." I quiver out with all the courage I have.

He stops rubbing my arms, his body stilling against mine. The room falls silent, the Tv the only sound. My whole body trembles, making me look like I'm having some kind of seizure.

He isn't saying anything. He's not even moving. He doesn't love me, he doesn't feel the same way. Why did I say it? I shouldn't have said it.

One glance and I see his mouth agape, eyes staring down at me. I tear my eyes away as my lip quivers terribly and quickly jump out of his lap, getting ready to run to the bathroom. I need to get away from him.

Just as I'm about off the bed, a hand grabs me pulling me back and at the same time spinning me around to face him. My chest aches as I bring my eyes to his forest ones, embarrassment all over my face. A break down is about ready to split through and fracture me.

Just as I'm about to tell him to let me go, his lips come crashing onto mine stealing away my breath. My words disappear, my eyes close, and my body freezes sinking into his. The world is gone and heaven is here. Mint and coffee and sweet on my taste buds. His lips like candy on mine.

Hot is how I feel as he steals a kiss that is only his to steal. The feelings out of this universe. As we pull away breathless, my eyes flutter open connecting with his forest ones, he's wearing a look that I can't decipher.

He takes his hand and caresses my face. "I love you too, silly girl." He murmurs, then leans in so his hot breath is felt on my neck. "You're mine."