chapter 62

Emma Green had been waiting her entire adult life to experience how it  felt to be really and truly in love with someone. To love and be loved in return. To find out how it felt to be really connected to someone. To fall in love in a way that completely sweeps you off your feet.

She had always loved the idea of meeting someone, falling madly in love, getting married and living happily ever after. She had seen a lot of romantic movies and read a lot of romantic novels. It was always amazing when the actors in the movie found each other and were all lovey dovey at the end. And at the end of it all she always wondered if she could ever have something that beautiful.

One other thing she really wanted to experience - Great sex. Sex that included lots of slow, deep kisses and long, lingering touches. Sex that stole her breath away and zapped her common sense. Sex that made her toes tingle and her skin prickle and her body actually throb. Sex with someone who actually cared about her.

But people didn't always get everything they wished for. Did they?. And Emma had given up on the whole idea. Some things just didn't happened no matter how much you wanted them. Yeah.. Three bad breakups could do that to you. In her opinion, it just wasn't worth the pain.

She had had her share of relationships and they hadn't always ended the way she had hoped. She'd thought her boyfriend back in college was the love of her life and she had thought he was "the one". But then he had graduated and moved to another state when she was still in her third year and everything got screwed up. They had fought almost on a daily basis about almost everything until they both realized that it just couldn't work out between them anymore. That's the part that hurts the most. When you realize that there's nothing left to fight for.

She'd dated another guy she met on a dating app. It was all good between them but she always had this feeling in her gut that it wasn't right. Her suspisions were confirmed when she found out that he was actually dating someone else. What actually hurt the more was that he hadn't even bothered to lie about it when she asked. It just proved that she had not meant anything to him in the first place and that he had no respect for her or her feelings. Good thing it didn't work out. At least it had prevented her from ending up with a jerk.

The fact that her father had left her mom when she was Thirteen didn't help matters. Sometimes she wondered why she had even tried the relationship thing. Her mom was the sweetest person she knew. So full of love and ready to share that with everyone. She never quite understood how anyone could leave such an amazing person. Her mom had  been so heart broken after the divorce. Yet she always bothered Emma about her single life. Which was something Emma didn't understand. Men were jerks. She had nothing personal against all men, of course. It was just the combined wisdom of experiences with them. Her dad had been a jerk and she wondered when her mom wanted her to get one. She herself had never remarried.

"Hey mom" she would say anytime her mother brought up the topic "I'm fine with things this way. I don't have to put up with anyone. Plus, I can be as messy as I want"

"Ah, Emma" her mom replied "you know it's a pity you won't be here next month. There would be a lot of nice young men coming in for the holiday. Could you not stay another week?"

Emma laughed. "Not even for a nice young man"

"Too bad" her mom had said.

She had wanted answers then. Answers about her father. But her mom had said she was too young to understand. And then her feelings gave way to anger. Anger at her dad for leaving. For leaving his wife and daughters and just disappearing. Without even bothering to stay in touch. Her failed relationships might even be a sign. She sometimes told herself. Some kind of premonition, preventing her from making a mistake. Pr eventing her from having a ki